LOVING IS SCARY

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The first time I thought I was in love was about 6 years old and the object of my attraction was a pretty young girl named Oyin which means honey in her local dialect. It was really just a disturbing feelin, mashed with confusion and desire, making it almost impossible to comprehend.

I have done more adventurous things with my heart ever since, but it doesn't really take the fear away whenever this deep inexplicable feeling overwhelms me. This is because falling in love can be a scary thing at time.

I really do marvel at people who love with such certainty. It is almost impossible to be certain about anything in this life talk less about love. When people say they've found the one I get confused and sometimes I question the correctness of this statement. Is there any such person as the one? We've learnt to adopt the most of our ancient myths into our lives, believing things that ordinarily do not make sense when you think them through. However, there are some merits, especially in this case, when you're searching for love and you find someone who checks all the boxes. Even at that, it's still a difficult choice being with such a person because of the uncertainties that persist: is this the right decision? Am I taking things too fast? Am I even read for this?

Most of our fears regarding love and commitment are based on our experiences. It's really an onerous task loving someone when all that has fetched you in the past are disappointments and heartbreaks. This can stumble on our happiness because you might end up missing out on a great thing by holding back because of a bad experience. There is a saying that we are the choices we make. So if, in time past, I willing accepted or chose to be with some certain people, it not only goes to show the quality of my decision(s) but also my value system. It's not one of the easiest things to admit but I am just as bad or good as the people I have chosen to be with, especially when there isa repeated case of moving to the same type of people, who do the same kind of things to me. This only means that if I want to change the quality of my life; if I want to attract the right set of persons, I must be willing to evaluate my life and make those desired changes that will alter my life for the better.

Another reason why love can be a scary thing is because it makes us vulnerable. This might be a result of what I spoke of in the previous paragraph, however this can be as a result of us not wanting to lose control. Being vulnerable changes the power dynamics. Loving someone is simply handing over power to another and hoping that they do not misuse it. Some people do not know how to deal with this. All their lives they've been in control of their time, space, emotion but now someone else is coming into their lives to share these things and even influence them. Even if they are willing to heed, they do so partially and with caution. The slightest sign that things might be going south they bail out. They run so fast and far with their luggage which they've already packaged in anticipation of any problem. If might just be a minor misunderstanding, or a strange text, anything at all can prompt their paranoia, and they end up destroying a good thing even before it starts

Falling in love isn't the easiest of things, but it the best thing that can ever happen to a person. Although we are not in control of all the elements we have to give into love completely. This is the only way we can enjoy the experience.