So my friend here @acesontop had a post that mentioned “what’s up with censoring just the nipples on females and leaving the rest of the breasts exposed?” You can see his original post here (sorry idk how to do the link. Check out his stream and see “half taped, half naked 4-5 posts back). I commented there, but I wanted to share my thoughts here too.
Oh boy. This issue...I can literally feel my heart beat harder and my blood pressure rise when he mentioned this scenario. I’m not very detached on this topic. It’s triggering for me
Most women try to approach the female nipple censoring topic with an argument to de-sexualize it. As in, “it’s just a nipple. Can’t you guys just see it as a neutral part of my body?! I breast feed my child with this sacred object, so stop being a perv and getting aroused by it. It’s only a big deal because you guys ruin everything by making everything about sex. Hmmmph! 🤬”
Female breasts/nipples are at the pokey epicenter of a conflict we have with female sexuality. The breast is both a super common sexual arousal trigger AND one of major symbols of motherhood via nursing. Presently, culturally, we don’t like to mix up our sex and mothering. It generally makes us uncomfortable. We try and keep those 2 things as far apart from each other as possible and never let the 2 aspects collide. How can we maintain our unsullied holy mother image if we tolerate others bringing up the inherent beauty and sexuality of our breasts?! How dare they! Men don’t have this mother/whore archetypal conflict to deal with. They are generally harassed and shamed for always wanting sex, but they don’t have the conflict about it like women do.
The vilification of sex is the root issue. Nothing is ultimately good or bad. Only our resistance to what IS causes good vs bad and then the trouble really starts. And sex just IS a part of life. A big part! Yet so many people want to deny this, or repackage it, and resist. Our desire for sex is as hardwired into our biology as our desire food, shelter, and water. We don’t survive as a species unless we are all a little fixated with sex.
But sex is the elephant in the room. it’s the big, obvious, awkward thing smack dab in the middle of everything that NO ONE wants to acknowledge or discuss. And so there it stays uncomfortably, awkwardly, contentiously, our motives and desires around the topic of sex unexamined, unexpressed because we can’t bring ourselves to be the first one in this theoretical room to be honest about our interest in it.
There is every kind of kink/turn on out there that you can imagine. But Men’s nipples aren’t as common of an arousal trigger as women’s nipples and breasts, so that’s partially why this isn’t an issue with male nipples…plus the maternal/sexual conflict with the female breast. And the irony is that it’s really the rounded female breast WITH the nipple that is generally the big turn on. (think about it...fewer folks seek totally flat chested women. We augment our selves all the time to have fuller more voluptuous breasts. But we rarely seek to change our nipples.) What if they did the partial censoring by covering the roundness but left the nipples peaking out? Nipples are the universal element that both men and women have. That would make much more logical sense to sensor the breast tissue vs the common nipple, but I admit I think I would find that more arousing!
I digress…
I’m a mother, I love sex and I am not a bit ashamed of that, and I’m bisexual so I can truly see the beauty of the female breast from the mother perspective and sexually, so I have a lot of involvement in this topic. I would like to be able to more clearly and succinctly express myself here, but thanks for reading and letting me at least practice speaking my mind on a powerful topic for me.
You're always challenging me in this arena. As you know, I still have a puritan side based on my overly-controlling religious back story. For most of my life, sex was at best tolerated as something "for the marriage bed" and at worst something to be vilified and a tool of Satan. I've enjoyed watching @corinnestokes be more open to the natural reality of sexuality, but we're also still figuring things out as we have different world views on some topics. It's still a big deal for me to not feel shamed or guilted if I click on an NSF link and read your article, knowing it will have content that was vilified for much of my life. It's still something a part of my mind says has to remain hidden while other parts of my mind recognize that thinking is silly. I've read Sex at Dawn and similar things which approach this topic very rationally and that all makes sense to me. I commend you for the strength you've gained by being completely open and honest about yourself, who you are, what you love, and what you've classified as "good" no matter what others might say.
Also, this line is golden:
So. Very. True.
The double standard there is something I've really enjoyed listening to Sean unpack, even as I've played a bit of "devil's advocate" with him using arguments from others I respect. I do think he's right that much of this dates back to men not wanting women to fully control the power of their own sexuality. Maybe there's a fear there in that if they do fully control and embrace that power, men will be powerless against it.
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Thank you Luke. I know many of my topics are challenging for you. So I always feel honored when you’ve braved it, read one of my posts and take the time to write an (always) articulate and honest response. 🙏🏽
I also always love your thoughts on these topics. I was there too...lost in the world of church teachings for years... Not as deeply as you, but it is was impactful on me for sure. In hindsight though, i look back and it was like the blind leading the blind. I was taught all sorts of scary nonsense from people in the church claiming to be the authorities - who had no real authority. For most of my teenage years I truly believed I was going to burn in Hell for all eternity because I had sex before wedlock. (I had received a miscommunication of the dogma.) Such an internal conflict this creates when our biology drives us in one direction and culturally we are deeply ( dare I say traumatically?) threatened and shamed for such an innate part of the experience of being human - our sexual natures.
It’s not that I’ve worked through all of my past sexual shaming and trauma to now proclaim the opposite, that sex is “good.” I just now see that sex IS! It is such an inherent, integral, essential part of the whole of life and yet it’s gotten all muddled up in rights and wrongs.
Sex is like a foot. A foot can’t be good or bad, right or wrong... it’s just a foot. It does it’s thing as part of the whole. Trouble happens when we try to hide the foot, deny the foot, label the foot gross, bad or wrong and try to repackage or redirect the appropriate use of the foot with rules and consequences. Now, it’s true that we need to take care of the foot and keep it healthy. Maybe have boundaries, protection, and limits on what type of surfaces to expose it to...but it’s just a foot. It can’t be denied nor can it be good or evil.
Yes, and then the whole mother/whore conflict. “A lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed...” (thank you, Ludacris ✌🏽) That tends to be the ideal. But it sets a woman up for fragmentation and mask changing. Who then is the real “her?” For me, working through this conflict lately has been the final frontier. I was finally ready to be all of me, out loud (not shouting mind you, but not hiding at least) but the thought of “but what if my daughter reads this. She might then think that I like...sssshhhhh...s.e.x. 🤫” But, guess what? I do. And so will she. And I like to think that she will have less of an inner conflict about how she is and what she desires than I did as a result of not being taught that the way that she is is wrong, bad or needs to be hidden. She will be taught how to be safe and responsible, but not threats of hellfire eternal. IMO That’s the best I can do as her mother.
Thank you again for commenting here and engaging with me on what is a sticky topic for you. I enjoy it here and when you play devil’s advocate with @sean-king on similar issues like women, their sexuality and power. Big hug 🤗
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I really like the point you make about sex and our bodies just being part of the "is" camp. As the saying goes, a brick is amoral. It can either break a window or build a house. When I see you embracing your own sexuality it does come with a "sex is good" message a bit and I think that's okay because I read it as a personal thing. Meaning you have taken "foot" and used it for your benefit so that for you, "foot" becomes something good, beneficial, and enjoyable in your life. I'm comfortable saying "sex is good" but it's probably better for me to clarify that "sex in my life with my wife is good for me" because, like "foot" sex just is. The context matters and determines if it's good or bad.
I'm glad you mentioned your daughter. With two of my own, I think about this often as well. I do think exposure to sexuality too early can be very unhealthy, similar to how other pleasurable things (alcohol, certain chemical substances, certain experiences, etc) prior to the physical brain being developed enough to regulate them and make rational decisions about them can be unhealthy and lead to destructive patterns. On one level, we want to them to develop in that struggle, but on the other we have to recognize our role as parents to protect them in an age-appropriate way in terms of brain development.
I absolutely love this comment:
I've found the most freedom, peace, joy, fulfillment, purpose, and more when I've learned to just be me. Me in all situations and at all times. It's a wonderful way to live.
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I posted this comment on acesontop's post as well.
We see a repeat of this topic from time to time. The determination of what is 'indecent and should be covered' is definitely a cultural issue.
We have to remember that up until the mid-1930s men were REQUIRED to wear shirts that covered their nipples too (USA), even at the beach men needed to wear shirts. It was the famous Coney Island protests by men willing to get arrested to make the point it was 'ok' to show their chests in public that finally got a ruling in NY to start the ball rolling nationwide.
So here we are 80 years later with women fighting the same battle. Did we forget women's ankles used to have to be covered, then allowed as long as those pesky sexual knees were covered, now it's up to thongs and X over nipples. It's hard to fight multi-billion dollar industries profiting off of covering and or 'teasing' out boobs and nipples. [ Victoria's Secret]. So the world continues to shame them to be covered.
There is a difference between nudity and sexuality. Anything can be come sexual in context if you want it to be, once that mindset is activated, then sexual desire/thrill follows.
It is what it is. :-)
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Wow. You got into the "nipples sexually arousing depths" really deep with this post. More than I could imagine and...I am not poor in imagination. I felt your "boiling energy" on the topic from the first comment on my post, but haven't thought that you will develop the core of my post that deep. I wanted to ask you about your pause in posting recently, in the reply of your comment, but here you are. Read my mind and took action. This kind of "sensitive topics", like the one from the taped nipple post are not singularities in my head. There's a whole harem of them and I think I will let them escape on the Steem fields from time to time.
The pictures are great by the way. I assume that @seanking "is guilty" for them and the states of being you expressed there. As a conclusion ,YES, definitely a great post. Period. Will resteem it.
Here's you have the link of the post you mentioned in the introduction:
https://steemit.com/life/@acesontop/half-taped-half-naked
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I’m grateful to you for inspiring this post/triggering a response for me. 😘
I’ve been a little quiet lately for a number of reasons. We were traveling on holiday. I could have posted then...I had the time. Just family, trips, distractions.
Also, I’ve been reading a book lately that has kept my attention rapt! I keep wanting to share it with you because it’s written by an author who is awake, truly AWAKE, like Nisargadatta. Have you read Jed McKenna? “Spiritual Enlightenment...The Damedest Thing.” 🙌🏽🙌🏽 👌🏼
Yes, I should always list Sean for photo credits. I am very lucky (and weird) to have THOUSANDS of stock photos of myself on hand to match different moods of my posts. He has taken most all of them. 🙏🏽
Hugs
(Oh, and thank you for the resteem!🙏🏽)
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Haven't heard about Jed McKenna. Will google him.
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also love photography because photography is a name of art name of practice try to make something new something beautiful something different I like it because his relation to natur,,,,,,, @rabiagilani
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With my cherished small boobs I save money on not buying bras, I save discomfort during exercise, I'd be very happy to see the censorship move to breast masses, then I'd get to run around topless if I want! ;*
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Small boobs have their hidden benefits also, I see ;)
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My partner and I would argue not hidden at all! We are enthusiastic fans hehe
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I hear ya, my little sister. Small boobs are beautiful boobs too. 🙌🏽 I was just pointing out the majority seems to look for larger. Luckily there are as many preferences out there as there are people. Something for everyone. Thanks for commenting.
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Yes to all of this! I love your voice, your conviction, your honesty and this topic. I'm still growing into my unapologetic fierce female power so I always appreciate connecting with the work of powerhouse voices like yours... especially those that give expression to the often unlooked at faces of the feminine. Thank you! 🙏
And this... "I’m a mother, I love sex and I am not a bit ashamed of that, and I’m bisexual so I can truly see the beauty of the female breast from the mother perspective and sexually, so I have a lot of involvement in this topic." 😍 I wholeheartedly relate to every word here.
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Thank you honey 🙏🏽 It’s funny that I found you and your post on this similar topic that day. Glad to meet you here. 😘
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Its been a while, since I could sit here with a nice cup of coffee (without turpentine) and have the time to read some posts. Sorry I got to this one rather late. Had to finish a painting for an exhibition in Paris and there is always the deadline for the catalog. Photo is sent, and only a few minor details to be finished. Soon time for the cigar :-)
I really enjoy your post. From the very start, it all felt so "right" and of course I like your style. In every aspect, and your writing is particularly intriguing. Actually learned a few new word too :-)
For some of my artist friends and me, of course this is an issue, particularly since we continuously get banned on facebook for showing artwork with naked women, or at least showing their nipples. Now your writing got me really thinking, because in the past, I simply didn't understand, why this was an issue...
Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't think, a female nipple isn't something sexual. Quite the opposite. And when I picture a dress with the partial censoring by covering the roundness but left the nipples peaking out, I have to admit, I'd find it quite exciting too! So, the reason, why I find that whole issue.. how should I say... ridiculous(?) is the attitude not towards the nipple per se, but the attitude of a society towards sex... Not sure if I'm even making sense here, as so many thoughts come to mind simultaneously and I'm trying to get them in some kind of order. Interesting comments too here by the way and actually there really isn't much, that hasn't been said already.
As a rule, I think (central) Europe is a bit more "liberal" when it comes to sex. Actually, when I lived in the States, a lot of people there thought I was kinky. Had to look up the word, when I first heard it. Haha.. one time I wanted to give some friends a print of one of my paintings and they could not choose one which they'd be comfortable with, hanging on their wall... although I think most of my work is pretty harmless!
So yes, I think there is a sexual quality to art showing "certain body parts", but why does it have to be a problem? Had to laugh, when you talked about the foot... thing is, it could be just as "forbidden" as the nipple. Was at one time too, I guess. Luckily, pretty (female ;-) ) feet in high heels are not "banned" any more 😎
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I’m glad you have a break to look around after your Paris project. I always appreciate your comments 🙏🏽
Thanks for your compliments on “feeling” my post. I felt passionate about the topic and started off strong, but then I got off on tangents and had to loop back around to my points.
You make perfect sense to me. All of this censoring and the different platforms’ differing rules to keep up with... which nipples can be shown how and where. It is exhausting and as you say “ridiculous” and yes all based around the root issue of our different cultures’ relationships with sex. Germans are known as kinky to me too. 😆☺️ I only had 1 “intimate” German friend, and yes he was very kinky. He taught me the word geil and introduced me to the potential pleasures of spankings. Perhaps as a German these are normal to you? 😂 But to most US mainlanders they are quite risqué. (That was quite an international phrase. Did you see I just involved Germans, US mainlanders and the French with my last statements?! 😂☺️ ha ha...such fun)
Anyways... always enjoy your comments and perspectives. You are so intelligent, courteous and open minded. I love our friendship.
And yes, thank goodness we are past all this nonsense with ladies’ feet. They were, at one time, considered just as scandalous to reveal in public! I’ll be wearing some fabulous shoes out tonight and will try to capture a image to share here. 😉
Hugs
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Thank you so much for your kind reply. I'm glad you understand what I meant and that I am with you here completely. Plus I think it is important to be passionate about your beliefs!
Haha.. "geil", that's funny. I remember, when my dad got real angry when I used it once as a 12 year old.
Not sure if spanking is so widely spread as a rule here... guess, like everything else its a matter of taste (?) /preference? Plus I guess it depends on how you "play".
For me it isn't a problem, if someone likes something which I don't care for so much. In the US we did hang out a lot with the gay/lesbian community. They were all just coming out at the time. Was alright with me, as long as the guys didn't want to convince me of anything 😋 But when I say I'm straight, I say that without value attached. Its just the way it is.
Oh yes, please.. you have to post a photo of you with your fabulous high heels on! Interesting "coincidence" , that the first photo I saw of you here was with high heels on, remember?
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Thank You.
Giant Hugs<3<3<3
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