On Being True and Fitting In

It’s funny how people are highly encouraging the idea of being true to one’s self and yet, when someone starts doing just that and ends up being different, some are not happy. Some will become distant and stop supporting the real you.

From childhood, I’ve always had a hard time fitting in. I’ve never had lots of friends. I only have few selected ones that I consider as close friends and one or two who really know me deeply. I’ve been also busy and seriously focused most of my younger years with school and music, which contributed to my unconventional upbringing. It’s also never been easy for me to let people in. I find myself wary of people most of the time. Being a highly sensitive person, more often than not, I always sense whenever people are being genuine or not.

As I grow older, I’ve struggled with self-doubt and trying to fit in. It even came to the point when I stopped caring about people and just lived by myself with civility towards others still maintained. It led to loneliness by the way, so I began trying to be a social human again later on, which I find really exhausting at times. It’s been a challenge trying to understand the kind of person I am and finding the right balance that will work for me.

As an adult, I’m still discovering and rediscovering things about myself. I’ve been quite obsessed with personal growth that I’ve grown self-sufficient in most aspects of my life. I still have my downfalls sometimes which are mostly caused by the disadvantages of being highly sensitive. I’ve also learned that being true to myself won’t always make me fit in. I’m learning to live with the fact that not everyone will like me. And not everyone will appreciate the things I offer. At the end of the day, it all ends with how I feel about myself. As long as I’m doing my best to help and not holding back on my talents and skills, I’ve got nothing to worry about. Others opinion of me or how they make me feel should not matter that much.

Now what I like to remind myself every time I feel isolated or misunderstood are the following:

• There’s nothing wrong if the real you doesn’t meet other people’s expectations.
• There’s nothing wrong with being different or exceptional.
• If you’re someone who keeps striving to be a better version of yourself day after day, don’t let others opinions of you nor how lonely they make you feel stop you.
• More often than not, with being different comes being isolated or not fitting in. But as the saying goes, ‘those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’

So hang in there and become an inspiration to those who need you. Don’t dim your shine otherwise, how will your own kind find you and bring you to where you truly fit in?