Writing As a Coping Mechanism: Reasons Why I should Keep Posting Stuff Here, Even Though Very Few People Will See It

in blog •  6 years ago 

Hello again fellow Steemians

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So I woke up at 1 AM last night, and couldn't get back to sleep... my brain just wouldn't let me.

Here's a thing about me. I'm obsessive. Not in the "ohmygod, I'm obsessed with this new food item with cheese on it!", but in the sense that I have actually been diagnosed with at least one disorder that makes it very hard for me to ignore what would be for someone else just a passing thought.

Essentially what this means is that my brain will get caught up on a thought, a memory, or an idea, and loop around it for hours, with me being unable to get it out of my head. I like to compare it to a dog with her favorite chew toy, gnawing away at it, and not letting go.


Kind of like this, only less cute
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Anyway, back to my story.
It's 1 AM, and I'm wide awake. I had posted my introduction post a few hours prior, and at the time it had 7-8 comments and about the same number of upvotes.
After the initial excitement of getting upvotes and possibly some pocket change, I came to a realization. Of all the people on Steemit, only 8 people liked what I wrote enough to upvote. That means that probably not many people even saw it.

I spent a couple of hours trying and failing to fall asleep, while my brain quietly nibbled on that thought. My subconscious kept on coming up with more reasons why I should just give up.
Long story short, I decided to make a list of reasons to keep posting here, even if I don't end up getting any exposure.

Hold tight. It's going to be a long one.

»»-------------¤-------------««

  • It's as good a place as any to put my thoughts
    As I said, I sometimes get caught in a thought loop and can't get out of it. Maybe if I write it somewhere, it'll get the thoughts out of my head.

  • My writing always needs practice
    I like to write, though I haven't done it in a while and I'm getting rusty. Hopefully, my writing skills will get better as I go.

  • After all, it's all just for fun
    I'm not trying to run a business. I'm posting here because I enjoy it, not because I want any kind of fame or fortune. Even if no one even opens my posts, it doesn't matter.

Argument: It took me hours to write my introduction and to make it pretty, and this is taking hours too. What's the point of working hard to make a post pretty if no one's going to look at it?
Counter: The reason it takes so long for me to write is that I mostly do it at work, so I'm not writing continuously, but in bursts between work stuff. I work hard on formatting because I like it when things are aligned correctly and when they look pretty.
Argument: I'll run out of ideas very quickly. My life isn't really that interesting.
Counter: My life is certainly interesting enough to write about at least once a week. Also, there are enough writing prompts out there on the internet to keep me from running out any time soon. Maybe I'll even start writing short stories again.

The biggest reason why I'm going to keep posting, even if no one ever reads it is why not!
I enjoy it, and it doesn't matter how much exposure I do or don't get.


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