I can relate to a lot of this. I had a spontaneous kundalini activation almost 2 years ago, and it was overwhelming most of the time, challenging, frightening, and at times blissful. I would feel like I was thrown into the deep end of the pool and told to learn to swim, here and now. Asked by my higher self again and again to learn this lesson, and learn it now. I would ask for a break, and yes I would receive it, but never for long, just enough to catch my breath before plunging back in.
It's finally calmed down somewhat, at least for now. I have a sensation that the kundalini energy is somewhere near my throat, as I am currently being taught over and over again some very strong lessons on communication. I'm a little nervous as to what will happen when the energy reaches my pineal gland and third eye, as I already have a history of seeing visions, gathering powerful insights, and being connected to the underworld. But what else to do but roll with it?
I tell myself always, be patient, it's going to be OK. It's hard. And scary a lot of the time. But so far, has been worth it. It wasn't anything I remember asking for, however my soul must have asked otherwise I wouldn't be here, and I trust my self and my spirit enough to say, ok, do your thing. Let's get this going.
Thanks for sharing part of your journey, it's nice to know this happens to others, and that I am not walking the path alone. Also, I have experienced that feeling of, I am never alone anymore, and yes it can be exhausting. Remember, you can ask spirits to leave you in peace and quietude. Most of the time they will listen, as they are nearly always energetic beings. This teaches a new way to communicate and relate to the world. It's different, but it's OK. I'd love to chat about it, anytime.

Thanks for sharing, have a wonderful weekend.

Xx ToL