it's my BIRTHDAY and how i FEEL about it

It's my birthday and I am so thankful to be alive and healthy, to be surrounded by family and friends and to have you all too!!

So today is a sad day obviously, and I really didn't understand how serious things were when those towers went down. All I could think of was I was sick and I wanted to sleep. I didn't have the world view I have now and I was still the ruler of my own little world, what did I care about adult problems happening on the tv while I was so miserable on my birthday!! My poor mother must have been a mess that day!! My sister was also sick with ulcers and had been for quite some time. She had to haul us to work with her and then all hell broke loose. I can't imagine what she must of had going through her head that day.

As the years passed in my childhood, I felt cheated still that the world around me was so sad. Don't they know it's my birthday? How long is this going to last. Will this day forever be a gloom and doom day for me? For everyone? What's the big deal, it happened x amount of years ago... Aren't you over it by now?!?

I am no longer a child. I understand now the tragedy of what happened and how so many people are affected. I don't live in a world that revolves around me. I couldn't tell you when it hit for me, but I quit sulking on my birthdays and started watching the news. Waiting... When will tragedy strike again? What better time then on the anniversary? I find myself responding to every birthday wish with something truly heart felt and not just the random thanks for thinking of me. You never know when somebody will be gone and it doesn't hurt to show some love.

So now that I can adult and understand reality, I find myself trying to explain to my son what it truly means and finding it hard for him to truly grasp the concept, this storm will take thousands of homes, that fire will probably take some lives. Should I even try to explain it, or should we let our children live in their own perfect little worlds where the worst thing that could happen is a sad face on your birthday?

I think I will let kids be kids and continue to watch the world around me and help in whatever way I can. What else can you do on your birthday besides share the love?

Thanks for reading. I hope you all have a peaceful day and I'm so sorry for all the lives lost that day. Praying for those families going through storms and fires. May you all find safety and calm.