Hello readers, I normally do not post blog posts to my page but this is an exception. I will be writing the following stream-of-consciousness style with only minor editing depending on the platform.
Do you know someone who is adopted and are curious about their birth parents? I was on the search of my biological grandparents on my mother's behalf, and with a lot of time and help I eventually found the name of my biological grandfather. At the start of the search talking to my mom and my aunt there was pretty much zero information other than, "they were a young couple." And that, "In the Spring of 1968 we (my grandma writing this the family book) put our names in for an independent adoption. In October 1968, Dr. Gundmundsen called and told me he had a beautiful two day old girl for us... ... She has some polynesian blood in her..." And with the Ancestory.com results I had a giant confusing web to untangle and few weak links to piece together.
My mother and I were born into a very kind Mormon family and we wouldn't trade them for anything, and mom never really questioned who here parents were and accepted where she was but with age comes serious existional questions. Especially at middle age, working in a field that deals directly with the Covid-19 pandemic, and then the effects the pandemic has on the world itself where we could all die at any second or people will panic society can go to Hell just like that.
"Who are my birth parents? What are their names? What were they like?" These are very big, and a very serious question one deserves to know before they die. Whether it be when they are old enough to understand why their parents gave them up, or right before the end of all things.
Idaho along with many other US states, adoption records are sealed and one would require a lawyer and thousands of dollars and weeks of beaurocratic nonsense which is a massive sink of precious time and resources. Not only that but when obtaining a birth certificate, one could only get their own, and no one else can get it for them.
I believe everyone deserves to know who their parents are, at the least just their names. Its jarring to think I came from nowhere or how many John and Jane Does there are out there like Regina Doe, Lyle Stevik or the Somerton Man. No one is completely nameless and even the nameless have had pasts and personal lives and history. Far too many people remain unknown or simply stricken from history and eventually memory. Far too many people don't know the names of the people who created them.
Though Ancestory.com research and the help of the non-profit organization The Search Angels I discovered my biological grandfather was a Hawaiian born Army veteran named Sgt. Mauankea who has been dead since 1986. He was a traveling military man who was involved with ROTC training at one of my local high schools, and while he was in town met my still unknown biological grandmother and then just left once the school year was finished. And apparently my great-grandmother Kupuna Katherine Maunakea was very prominent in the Hawaiian community and helped to preserve the islands most ancient traditions and cultures.
My mother also has half siblings back in Hawaii, Colorado, Oregon, and Washington and as far as I know it's just me and her here in Idaho but it truly is fascinating that we have lots of familial blood and know exactly where out Hawaiian roots originated.
Sgt. Mauankea really got around in here in the north and southwest and presumably everywhere he traveled in his military career. Hawaii, the US mainland, Korea, and Vietnam. He was married many times and speaking to the mother of one of my half aunts, my biological grandfather was not a good person and it pains me to write this.
I broke down quit my passion for writing when I found out I unintentionally wrote bio grandfather as the main character Venser even though I've been writing him for years but both the character I made up and the man I discovered to be my biological grandfather have eerily similar traits. While I write Venser as an anti-hero mercenary bard man the few redeemable traits are his generosity and his love and care for his family, while my biological grandfather seemingly didn't care for anyone but himself. He once claimed he had a trust fund for my eldest uncle Carl so he didn't pay child support and it was only fifty dollars a month no idea how much that was back then. And Carl ended up receiving nothing from his dad. Very sad!
Apperently, Sgt. Maunakea was extremely charming a regular Giacamo Casanova, a soldier with a girl in every corner of the map. Most of what came out of his mouth were lies, exaggerated stories or boasts. He was an excellent musician, couldn't read music but could play multiple instruments, all by ear and ladies really love a good bard.
But Sgt. Mauankea was real and he sounded despicable and was my biological grandfather. My real grandfather died in 2007 when I was about nine years old and my parents divorced when I was young and the man pretty much raised me while my parents tried to sort their separate lives out. John Hamrick was a very funny and kind hearted man and died too soon and when the Housing Crash of 2008 occurred we lost the house he and my grandma built, they did that weird thing where they cut the house in half and then shipped it elsewhere. How do they even do that? Cut the entire house in half longways in perfect cuts? Forget the house how many people actually live in those things with today's prices? I only wish he could have lived longer and that I had more time with him.
This is one of the oldest aesop stories in the book, it doesn't matter who your family is biologically what's matters is that the people who took you in, cared for you and raised you is your real family. An aesop is just like a fable, a story that's supposed to teach you a lesson. Like the story of the Tortoise and The Hare teaches that slow and steady wins the race not fast and reckless.
Like as Yondu said in GOTGVOL2, "He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy."
I have a few good leads for my bio grandmother, but just typing up that message to a potential cousin is going to take time to make sure it's perfect or near perfect because pobody is nerfect. But, excellent writing, excellent editing, and an excellent show of all the Ancestory.com research is a must.
Thank you for taking the time to read my personal story. And I suppose you can expect more.
Maybe.