Girls Hate Wrestling [008]

 GIRLS HATE WRESTLING [008 | Great Balls Of Fire + RAW]
 

Girls Hate Wrestling is a blog run by a girl, who in fact, loves pro-wrestling. This was originally an idea for a youtube series with my best friend, but that never happened. Now it's going to be a blog, possibly some videos, of me channeling my love of a testosterone fueled soap opera of greased up men in underwear battling to lay on top of each other for 3 seconds... sometimes for a belt.
 

This one’s going to cover the first ever Great Balls of Fire PPV and the relevant bits of the following Raw. There’s so MUCH BLOOD!! This post is much longer than my previous, as I’m trying out something new. It came to my attention that a lot of people being the reason I’m on steemit, don’t know shit about wrestling, so I took better notes and laid the matches out for you. I plan to try out some new things with this blog series, so let me know what you like, dislike, thoughts and general wrestling discussion. I hope to introduce some new mini-posts in the future. So now...  Let’s get to it!
 

[Ding Ding Ding]

 

The FIRST EVER Great Balls Of Fire was a RAW-exclusive ppv in the American Airlines Center in Dallas Texas on July 9, 2017. This is definitely the best RAW ppv they’ve given us in awhile and I think it’s definitely solid backing for the build to SummerSlam.
 

KICK-OFF SHOW
WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Cruiserweight Champion Neville vs Akira Tozawa with Titus O’Neil
  This match was going pretty evenly until Tozawa took a big boot to the face. Then he takes a big bump into the barricade and from there Neville dominates quite a bit of the match. Tozawa gains some momentum with a suicide dive but Neville kicks out of the pin. Tozawa pulled off what I thought could be a winning maneuver with an Octopus Stretch submission in the center of the ring but Neville gets a rope break. Neville plants Tozawa with a massive dropkick and goes top rope. Tozawa rolls out and catches Neville in a roll up but he kicks out.
Tozawa goes top rope for a massive Senton. Neville ends up racking Tozawa on the ropes and pins Tozawa to retain. I’m really sick of Neville’s character and I’m a fan of Tozawa but Cruiserweights haven’t really had my attention for awhile. Solid Kick-off match though.  
  


Singles Match

Bray Wyatt vs Seth Rollins
  Like I’ve said, I love both of these guys. I was a bit lost on the rivalry, but decent first match of the ppv. So many nearfalls. This was just awesome to watch.
  They start of with a bit of back and forth then Bray does his awesome corner backbend  to try and play little mind games with Seth. Things speed up when Seth kicks Bray off the apron into the announce table and suicide dives only to get caught with a right hand. Bray really starts embracing the Dready Swamp Redneck God  and plants Seth face first into the steel steps and into the barricade. Seth gets caught up in the center of the ring in a headlock. Seth makes it out and lays some chops on Bray in the corner. They go top rope and Bray hits Seth with a Superplex, pin, kickout at 2. Bray dominates until he misses a Running Senton and Seth takes control with a drop kick into suicide dive. Seth comes flying off the top rope with a flying punch, cover, kickout at 2. He hits a corner splash into Slingblade followed by Blockbuster into a cover, kickout at 2. Seth gets caught in Sister Abigail and counters with Enziguri only to have Bray counter with a huge clothesline. Seth counters that with a Falcon Arrow. Seth covers Bray, kickout at 2. Seth gets caught top rope, gets pinned, kickout at 2.  Seth gets dropped with a chokeslam, kickouts at 2. Bray goes back to his corner creepin’ backbend only to have Seth unleash on him and the ref has to pull him off Bray and during this distraction Bray pops Seth with an Eye Jab, and catches him in Sister Abigail for the win.

                                                               

Singles Match
Enzo Amore vs Big Cass 
  I loved this tag team… I knew how this match was going to go. This was heartbreaking and also a major turning point for both men’s careers in singles competition.
  Enzo comes out first, “Certified G and a bona fide stud and you can’t teach that. Bada Boom! Realest guy in the room. How you doin’?” And proceeds to cut one of the most intense, and well versed promos about life and dreams with a pop every few seconds. Big Cass comes out with a new entrance theme and Enzo starts things off by going ballistic on Cass in the corner. Cass turns it around and Beats Enzo down in the corner. Cass dominates the match and Enzo continuously fights back against splashes in the corner, whiplash chokeholds in the center of the ring. Cass hits Enzo with a fallaway slam followed by a splash. Enzo’s down in the corner and tries to fight back with kicks to Cass. Cass starts talking mad shit and then picks up Enzo like they used to for Boom Shakalaka and Enzo barely beats the 10-count back in the ring. Cass smashes Enzo’s face with a big boot and ends it with a pinfall.

                                          
                                                                                     

Raw Tag Team Championship 30-Minute Iron Man Match

Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Sheamus vs The Hardy Boyz
   I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it. I could watch these four guys wrestle FOREVER. I love all of them, but The Hardyz are my dudes, lifelong! (Seriously, Michael Cole, STOP calling them Team Xtreme without Lita present) All of these guys are incredible athletes and there’s never a dull moment with them in the ring.
  As the match begins, Matt is starting things off for the Hardy’s and it seems like Sheamus is starting but Cesaro runs across the ring and slides out and Matt walks straight into a Brogue Kick from Sheamus and the Champs score the first fall in less than 20 seconds. The Champs dominate over Jeff for a bit but my dude kicks out every time. The Champs hit some double team action on Jeff and score a second fall. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the ring post and then both men make a tag. Matt catches Cesaro in the corner and bounces his face off every turnbuckle and hits him with a bulldog. Hardy Boyz hit some double team action with Poetry in Motion, followed by Side Effect and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate and scores their first fall. Momentum shifts and The Hardyz double team on Sheamus and Casero breaks up the pin. The Boyz go vintage and Jeff Flies over the top rope. Matt throws Sheamus back in the ring and Cesaro grabs Matt and tosses him into the ring post and The Champs score their third fall by countout. Matt gets caught up in a sharpshooter by Cesaro and Jeff breaks it up. The Hardyz catch Cesaro in some double team action and Cesaro gets hit with a rollup cover and double Leg Drop cover by Jeff and the Hardyz score their second fall. Cesaro tags Sheamus, Jeff tags Matt and Sheamus gets planted with a Tornado DDT. Matt hits a Moonsault off the top rope but Cesaro runs in to break up the pin. Matt makes it top rope again and connects with a Twist Of Fate on Sheamus to score their third fall to tie things up with 3 minutes remaining. Jeff goes top rope to hit Sheamus and Cesaro drags him out so Jeff flies outside the ring. The Hardy Boyz go opposite top ropes and hit Sheamus with two devastating blows (Matt busts his own face open on Sheamus and is pouring blood) but Cesaro breaks up the pin yet again. Jeff sneak tags Matt to lay out Sheamus with a Swanton Bomb off the top rope and Cesaro sneaks back in ring as the legal man and sneak pins Jeff for their fourth fall. Jeff chases Cesaro around the ring and catches him with a Twist of Fate and can’t get the pin before the timer runs out. The Champs retain after a grueling half hour of some DAMN GOOD WRESTLING.
 
                                                                

Raw Women’s Championship

Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss vs Sasha Banks
  The match starts off with a lot of back and forth, with Sasha Banks slightly having the upper hand. Sasha throws Alexa across the ring and face plants her with an arm drag. Suddenly, it appears that Alexa’s arm is broken but she’s really a double jointed freak. They go outside the ring and Alexa uses this to take control and smash Sasha’s back hard off the apron. She hits her with some shots to the back. Back in the ring, Alexa does some flip and double knees to Sasha’s back. Alexa dominates, targeting Sasha’s back. Sasha finally gains momentum and smashes Alexa around the ring. Alexa catches Sasha with some rolling flip into a cover then throws a literal tantrum after the kickout. Alexa goes top rope and gets caught when Sasha throws her knees up and rolls into the Bank Statement. Alexa gets a rope break and she rolls out of the ring with Sasha on her heels. Alexa rolls out of the ring again to take a cheap countout to retain. Sasha’s having none of that and attacks Alexa on the ramp. They make it onto the announce table and Alexa gets throw off. Sasha takes to the sky and launches herself in Double Knees into Alexa on the floor. Alexa leaves with the title and a crimson smile.
 
                                                           

The Intercontinental Championship

The Intercontinental Champion The Miz w/ Maryse and The Miztourage vs Dean Ambrose
   Dean immediately starts by taking out the Miztourage, Curtis first, then Bo. Once he’s back in the ring, Miz gains control and dominates for awhile. Dean gains some momentum and tries for a sneaky rollup with a kickout. He hits Miz with a swinging neckbreaker and a massive clothesline. They both go up top and Dean dumps Miz off the ropes. Dean gets tied upside down in the ropes and the Miz does some very poor dropkicks, but not so shitty that Dean leaves the ropes with a crimson smile as well. Miz catches Dean in a Figure 4 Leglock that ends with a rope break. Dean ends up in the center of the ring for a round of kicks. Dean gains a burst of energy and hits Miz off the top rope with an elbow. The Miztourage starts to try some fuckery and Dean clotheslines Miz outside the ring. He goes up top and takes out the whole crew minus Maryse. Maryse throws Miz’s foot on the rope. More Miztourage fuckery and Dean gets caught in a Skull Crushin Finale and Miz retains the title.
 
                                                            

Ambulance Match

Roman Reigns vs Braun Strowman
   I don’t like Braun. I’ll never like Braun. Jabroman’s my boy, and yet, I had no interest in an ambulance match. I didn’t think it would be booked correctly.
  The match starts off with Braun dominating over Roman, and they take it outside the ring and Roman gets hit with the steel steps. Back in the ring, Roman gains some momentum for a split second and Braun plants him again. Braun immediately proceeds to go for a cover which is useless in an amabulance match, especially when HE set the stipulation. What an idiot. He tries to dead carry Roman out of the ring and that doesn’t happen. Roman hits Braun with a big Samoan Drop. Braun ends up going shoulder first into the ring post, leaving Roman a chance to hit Drive By on Braun’s injured elbow. Roman keeps control of the match and takes a steel chair to Braun’s injured arm. Roman smashes Braun with three chair shots with no reaction. Braun gets pissed and tosses Roman into the barricade like a doll. They fight up the ramp with Braun mostly in control, throwing Roman in to the stage screens. Roman gets sent flying off the stage into the side of the ambulance. Roman throws Braun’s face into the ambulance door and hits a Superman Punch. Braun’s half in the ambulance door, Superman Punch. Braun takes a backboard out and smashes Roman in the spine twice. He throws Roman back on the stage, literally across it. Roman goes for a spear, gets caught, rolls off Braun’s back and shoves him THROUGH the LED screens on the stage. Roman gets shoved back off the stage by Braun so Roman counters with smashing Braun with a set of lights along the barricade. Roman goes for a spear and misses, throwing himself straight into the ambulance, causing Braun to win. Roman comes flying out of the ambulance doors with a spear and smashes Braun’s head on the door. Roman ends up driving the ambulance to the arena parking garage and reverse rams it into a semi-trailer with Braun still in the back. Roman stumbles off as Kurt Angle and backstage crew freak out and call in the Jaws of Life to get Braun out. They finally get the doors off and he pushes out of the ambulance, blood smeared everywhere and leaves without medical attention.

                                              
                                                                                          


Singles Match

Heath Slater vs Curt Hawkins
  This was literally a filler match to give EMTs time to get Braun out of the ambulance. They didn’t even say who won. It was Heath. I found out after the fact.
 

WWE Universal Championship Match

Universal Champion Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman vs Samoa Joe 
  Before the bell even rings, Joe attacks Brock from behind, and they go outside the ring with Brock ending up through the announce table.  Paul start “Pauling” outside the ring and continues this screaming freakout as her usually does, throughout the match. Back in the ring, the fight actually begins with the bell. Joe goes straight for Brock again, throws elbows and nails him with a head kick in the corner. They exchange knees back and start grappling.
Joe wrangles Brock into a half locked Coquina Clutch and Joe turns it around to three rounds of Suplex City. They get tied up on the ropes and Joe grabs the ref, still tied up with Brock and racks him with a lowblow behind the ref’s back. Joe wraps Brock in the Coquina Clutch and Brock starts turning red and foaming a bit at the mouth. Brock lays Joe out with a big Back Drop to break the submission hold. Brock takes Joe to Suplex City three more times followed by an F5. Joe counters into the Coquina Clutch again and Joe counters with an F5 to pin and retain.
   
                                                               

RAW after Great Balls of Fire 

Cass open the show with an impressive promo about being the top, and no one can touch him, with a smug ass grin on his face the whole time, only to have Big Show come to the ring and teach him a veteran lesson. I hope they feud and if it’s time for Show to go, have Cass retire him proper. My opinions of Cass’ promo skills changed in a week, and dude’s the whole package. He just wasn’t given the chance to mic well with Enzo at his side. Cass could have a career like Edge if they do it right!
 

The Hardy Boyz barely lose a match to The Club, hopefully creating a new tag rivalry.
 

MizTV gets interuppted by Dean and joined by Seth.
 

Sasha and Bayey team up against Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax and Bayley claims a sneaky rollup on Alexa.
 

Bray Wyatt and Seth Rollins rematch resulting in Bray with the win. The Miz & Miztourage come out and attack Seth. Dean comes to his aid and lays down some chair shots.
 

Brock, Paul and Kurt Angle are all in the ring discussing who will face Brock at SummerSlam for the title and Jabroman comes out to talk some mad shit about what he did to Braun and how he’s taking the title next month. Joe comes out and joins in on the mad shit talking. Then Paul starts “Pauling” again. We end up with Joe and Roman planning to face off for the No. 1 Contender spot for SummerSlam.
 

[DING DING DING]

Now we're on the build to SummerSlam, and Battleground for Smackdown in less than two weeks. Thanks for checking it out. Stay tuned and as always... Don't be a Jabroni.

(All photo credit to wwe.com)