I've decided to stop thinkingsteemCreated with Sketch.

in blog •  7 years ago 

Thinking has been my default mode for so long, I almost don't know how to stop.
How has it taken me so long to realize that I have become an addict?
I've become accustomed to sabotaging myself with thoughts the same way an alcoholic will abuse a bottle.
The same way you make excuses for your guilty pleasures, your secret affairs, your indulgences.
I've been engaging in cerebral masturbation in order to put myself under the illusion of control.

So I've decided to prove to myself that I don't need you
I need to put you in your place.
I need you working in harmony with my heart.
With my surroundings.

I've got the life of my dreams sitting there waiting for me and holding on to you is the only thing that has held me back.
I blamed the world and I've blamed myself but really, I've just been thinking too much.
It's all just waiting for me.
A world where there is no contradiction between freedom and stability.
Where I can heal others without sacrificing myself.
Where the universe responds to my callings
Where we work in harmony to create this beautiful art called life.

Anyway, just a way to remind myself.

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why should you be different than most people?
it's about time you joined the majority.

I guess I will be joining the majority, and in that way, I'll be able to help them and help myself.

Something like that :-D

I'm still going to kick ass, By thinking I mostly mean worrying because to me they are the same thing. I just pretend their different to justify my addiction.

Do you meditate? That's probably the best way to wrangle up your brain.... for me it's been a years long process of slowly learning how my own thought patterns/loops work.... don't be too hard on yourself man!

Meditation is a good process. However, once you get back to strength, you forget you need it. 😅

true, it is easy to forget! Although I am pretty steady with my humble 10 mins per day :-)

Sure, though sometimes it just doesn't seem to work much. I really love getting in a habit of 10 second meditations a bunch of times every day. It makes it easier to not stray too far from where I want to be and makes longer meditation much more effective :-)

l hope everything will turn well soon!

Everything is always perfect. Sometimes I realize this and sometimes I do not.

You just need to let go and recharge your batteries.

I need to change to solar energy

Hope that is sustainable for you brother :)