(Sourced from Unsplash)
Oh god, I don’t know what to write about. My heart feels an odd tugging, it’s not the oppressive pressure of depression but it’s not the flutter of happiness either. It’s more of a faltering uncertainty of which direction to take.
On January 1st I made a promise to myself that I’d really start my blog this time. I’d really make it happen. I’d write one post a week about… well anything I wanted because I didn’t want a niche to create any type of roadblock for myself. It would develop on it’s own I figured and slowly it has. I didn’t want any constraints to come along and give me an excuse not to write.
And it’s easy to write in the winter. There’s not the same pull to be outside in the greys and browns of the cold frozen garden but I look up now and the projects of spring beckon. “Don’t sit inside,” whispers the greening grass. “Come check on us,” sing the stoic fronds of the tulips coming up. And even the things I can’t see from my desk call from behind. The garden beds and seeding trays of the greenhouse... could new young plants be peaking up this morning? The chicken coop also awaits as does my anticipation for all the mail order plants I went crazy over this winter.
So my dilemma arises as it cyclically does with the improving weather. How does one find the time to write, or edit their videos, and YouTube channels while also getting their fill on all the projects that need doing and recording?
How do these people I idolize in our technological dimension of the internet find the time to do all their projects, record them, prepare them, share them, interact on social media, and then make time to cook dinner and live a life with their family? It’s where I find myself faltering. “Is this important enough to share with the world? Does anyone really care about how to build raised beds our way? Or how we built our chicken coop?”
And the excuses start rolling in. “The Coronavirus is making this really crazy right now…” or “Well, I’m pregnant with my 2nd so the motivation and energy just isn’t there because I’m nauseous and tired.” Or… the list could go on but I’ll spare you. With all the research and learning I’ve done, online courses and webinars I’ve attended on how to do this or that for the blog, it’s coming down to 4 things right now.
Making my website look the way I want, despite my lack of tech skills.
Keeping up with my posts and writing things that are worth it that people want to hear.
Creating something to give away. But what? What do people want? What is something of value that I can give that isn’t just the same old info everyone else has? (If you have ideas, please share!)
And finally product. I actually need to get down to the creation of product. I need to build myself a workstation in the yard, set up and experiment and get a product created, a repeatable product. And then move on from there.
So that’s where I’m at. In that state right after your trip and have tossed everything that was in your hands up into the air but you’re in that moment when you can still save it, still grasp back onto everything and come out unscathed. But that moment passes quickly. You can’t question yourself or think out the possible scenarios. You’ve got to just trust your gut and move. So, I’m there, trusting my gut and going with it before I trip and drop it all.
Wish me luck, read my stuff and respond to support me, and if you’ve got any ideas for me I’d absolutely love to hear them.