I think Bob my Bonsai is really Groot by night.

I have been with Bob for the last 8 years, and for the most part we have been the best of buddies. One thing we never seem to agree on, is that while he insists on continuing to look young, my idea of him is completely different. What good is a young looking Bonsai tree, makes no sense at all. What could be more pleasurable to look at, than a hundred year-old looking miniature tree. Moody Bob, behaves less like an ordinary ficus Bonsai (Ginseng, Retusa) that he is and more like the ageless Halle Berry of miniature ornamental tree world.

Once I threatened Bob that if he insisted on refusing to grow older and looking more ornamental (like other miniature trees) I would cut his ginseng roots and use them as an aphrodisiac on Bae. My guess is this didn't really go down very well and the guy literally instantly wilted and went for an entire season without leaves (well okay, almost completely no leaves). There in lay Bob's christening as the Moody One.

I learnt my lesson then. I had to take back my words, and take them back I did. With just the two of us in the apartment and the occasional visit from Bae, we have learnt to co-exist like real buddies, well it shows, the darker the green on his leaves the happier he is.

Its winter now in Zimbabwe and Bob is on his annual fast, so that means his water is straight from the tap, no liquid manure and he doesn't seem to mind me occasionally forgetting even to water him, though generally Ficus Retusa like Bob tend to be like African people in the south - extremely sensitive to the cold season (summer really in other parts)

One unique and pleasurable thing about the art of artificially dwarfed indoor trees is that you must be able train the tree ( use of wire around the branches and trunk to silhouette control and reshape the direction of growth). Strangest thing though with Bob is that I wont even dare - what with his moods. Bob scares me me like the cat that refuses to have its fur trimmed. Oh thats the other thing I also have never trimmed Bob's leaves. I just have this mortal fear he will walk out of his pot and bite me. Remember Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.

So, for a very long time- maybe five years- Bob and I shared the bedroom, until it just got weirder and weirder each night - and we changed the living arrangements. I am certain each morning I would wake up with some traces of soil on the floor - more like a hurriedly cleaned crime scene. and then there were the leaves, occasionally inexplicably scattered in God-knows-how-they-got-there parts of the room.

I had just had enough, and I explained to him that as he was getting older he too needed more space - he seemed to understand it though. But honestly I was fruk out by this sixth sense that every time I switched of the lights he would 'groot' around the bedroom all night. Okay fine this is Africa, well, where nature is still very natural as well as supernatural, and I wasn't just about ready to take any chances. So Bob now has his own space in the kitchen in the counter top. I am wondering if thats a good idea, with knives and other 'sharps' right there underneath his nose. I have tried to record him him with a motion camera for nights in a row but I still cant gather myself to watch the footage. I am fatally haunted by the what-if

Bob is family, very close family and he has noone else- at least that will understand him- and I will need to eventually warm up to the idea that he too is probably fed up of Pot life all the time and once in a while needs some action. As long as he minds his own business and stays out of my way - one day he will grow older wrinkle a little bit and play good Bonsai and not Groot.