Laziness

Splitting headache, move to pass the emptiness of my thoughts. Nothing to show for the existence of my life. Crawling day after day to a place of false enjoyment. Smiling at loved ones, making them feel better for choosing to be in my life. Trying to sustain a simple loathing time of doubt. Fighting myself and not demons. They watch for entertainment, no force is guiding me to my demise. I push and pull to see which way I fall, clouded as youth and now sight clear of any walls or distractions. Simply sitting in a puddle of self loathing pus. Wishing it would end, yet can’t stop to change anything as I may miss something good.