I mean, here's a genuine question.
Why do people think the pathological, perpetual, instinctual 'a big boy did it and ran away and I was nowhere near Downing Street at the time' naughty schoolboy Johnson is ever, in fact, telling the truth.
I don't know Guardian. Will you be surprised to learn that, in fact, the arguments for Brexit were based on a lie? There's this fable about a frog that gives a scorpion a ride across a river, but - spoilers - the scorpion stings the frog and they both die.
Our media is like - throw in another frog boys. How many frogs will it take?
Gosh, really?
This is just one of a dozen articles I read this morning that seemed shocked that Boris Johnson might, in fact, have misled the British public or parliament or the Queen or one of his ex wives?
Gosh, really?
Do we really live in an age where every journalist is cattle prodded in the head each night and made to forget the very stories they themselves covered? Why are we not holding him to account each and every day? Why are we taking any words he says at face value? Ever.
Why at press conferences do journalists hang on his every word rather than heckle him. Blah blah blah, Look at his mouth opening and all the lies tumbling out like he is incontinent with pathological untrustworthy verbal diarrhoea?
So. Many. Lies.