A few days ago, I offered a 100 STEEM bounty to whomever could come up with the best name for our new curation guild. It turns out that we are not going to use any of the proposed names, but we still had to choose a winner..
100 STEEM has been paid to @v4vapid for their entry of, "The Watchers."
For what we are building, this could have been an excellent name.
10 STEEM has also been paid to @pfunk for their entry, "The Postmen," simply because it was hilarious.
NEW BOUNTY
Recipe for Snowflakes
1 part Millennial
1 part government funded left leaning University
1 part affirmative action
mix all three parts for one to four years, and set them out into the real world and watch them melt!
For more nutty snowflakes add
1 part mercury or 1 part GMO foods
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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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Did you win the 100 steem?
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About 3 hours ago, 100 Steem was transferred to my wallet by @son-of-satire.
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Guy walks into a bar in Northern Jersey- burly bartender throws a bev nap down in front of him and asks- "what'll you have douchebag?'
The guy replies - "vinegar and water please"
(post resteemed)
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Recently, I wrote a research paper on lemmings, which wasn't easy because they are so lumpy.
(resteemed)
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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. One day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town the next Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
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President Donald Trump is sitting in the Oval Office. He picks up the phone and dials Hillary.
Hillary answers, "Who's there?"
Donald, "Not you!"
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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.25 whereas deer nuts are under a buck.
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There are two little boys, brothers, that are the terror of their neighborhood. No house escapes TP drapery, no lawn is safe from an overnight watering, and mailboxes can't seem to stay on their posts.
The community is fed up, and demands that the parents crack down down on the boys; the postman will stop delivering mail, and the garbageman will pass their cans untouched.
The parents are at their wits; end; they have tried everything from spanking to reasoning, with no results.
They take the bothers to the local priest, who agrees to go overboard a bit and scare them straight. He takes the older boy into his office, and sits him down on the other side of the desk.
He sternly asks, Son, where is God?
The boy squirms a bit, but doesn't answer.
The priest slaps his hand on the desk, Son, where is God?
The boy is sweating and shaking, but still doesn't answer.
The priest bangs his fist on the table with every word now, I'm going to ask you one last time, where is God?
The boy jumps up, runs out of the office, grabs his little brother, and they run and run to their secret hiding place. He tells his little brother,
Damn, we are in BIG trouble. Somebody stold God, and they think WE did it!
(resteemed)
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A young lady gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver said to the young lady: 'thats the ugliest baby I have ever seen😂. The young lady sat down, fuming. She said to an old man siting next to her: 'The driver just insulted me. The old man laughed😂 and said go there and tell him of. Go on, I will hold your monkey for you.😂😂😂😂😂...the young lady cried😅
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a conversation between a dad and his son(NSFW)
Son: I experienced my first sex dad
Dad: that is nice son, sit and tell me how it went.
son: I can't sit, it is still sore :D
(pardon my language)
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#NSFW?
A man walked into a bar and asks for 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them, and the customer downs all 6 one after another.
"What's the occasion?" asked the bartender.
"First blowjob," said the customer.
"Well, have another shot on the house!"
"No thanks. If 6 shots can't get the taste out of my mouth, a 7th won't make any difference."
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:))
good one
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A Satoshi walks into a bar and asks what's the fee for the transaction. The barman stares at him and says If it's from the genesis block you get one free
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In Hong Kong, communication gap is one of the problems between employers and employees especially when the employer is old and didn't have proper education and vice versa. Pronunciation is one thing. Employee," Ma'am, what are we having for lunch? Are you eating fish and meat with veggies? asked the helper. "Oh, yes. You fly the fish and eat yourself because we wil late," said the employer. But the helper was wondering and asked her friend next door. "How can I fly the fish and eat myself?" The friend answered, "She meant that you fry the fish and help yourself because they will be late."
Sorry folks, I didn't mean to be racist but it's true.
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resteemed
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A Bitcoiner bought a hat
...
But the transaction didn't get confirmed.
"At least the hat fits"
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THANK YOU! I rarely win contests, so this was a pleasant surprise. Although, I'm still partial to ~ 'Ricky the Dragon Steemboat' ~
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Lol. No problem. Congratulations again.
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I will give it a go, this is for all those called kooks and told to grab a tinfoil hat:
the p is silent
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Good luck everyone! I'm terrible with jokes...and that's no joke.
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3 guys are stuck on a boat about a mile off the shore line. A white guy, a black guy, and a polish guy. The white guy jumps in the water...swims half way and drowns. The black guy jumps in the water...swims half way and drowns. The polish guy jumps in, swims half way, gets tired.....and swims back!
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Thanks! I was wondering why I got 10 STEEM :)
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