If you can "top their story," don't.
Here's what I mean. Imagine for a minute that during a conversation somebody shares good news with you. Impulsively, you might want to have those brilliant spotlights shifted to shine only on you. Avoid the temptation.
Be willing to spotlight everyone you associate with.
Examples of "topping that story" conversations:
FIRST CONVERSATION
Martin: "Wow, I shot my best golf round ever today, even par."
Ted: "Reminds me of the first time I did that thirty years ago. I was sixteen. What made my round even more impressive was that I shot that 72 in the final round of the club championship, helping me win by three strokes. Still look at that trophy every day."
SECOND CONVERSATION
Evelyn: "What a real estate week I had! Sold two houses in that elite subdivision on the east side of town."
Susan: "Well guess what, I just looked at this quarter's reports, and I averaged selling 3 homes a week in even ritzier neighborhoods. Wanna buy me a drink to celebrate?"
THIRD CONVERSATION
Theresa: "Our oldest son made the honor roll for the first time at the university. We are so proud of him."
Anna: "Both our daughters made Phi Beta Kappa there, so of course they were at the top of the honor roll every term. Aren't they something special?"
CONVERSATION LESSON WE JUST LEARNED
Obviously, Ted, Susan, and Anna could top what their conversational partners said, so they did that. Instead of complimenting Martin, Evelyn, and Theresa, they thoughtlessly--and arrogantly-- boasted about themselves.
Martin, Evelyn, and Theresa felt more than being ignored. They felt, quite correctly, that their chat partners snubbed them.
Guess what will happen the next time the three people who had wanted to share their good news show up at a networking event, neighborhood gathering, or local art show.
They will stay away from the three narcissistic acquaintances who were reluctant to acknowledge another person's good fortune.
PUT THE "TOP THIS" FOLKS TOGETHER
Know what I'd like to do? Put all the "I can top this" people in the same room. Let them exercise their insensitivity on each other. Leave the rest of us alone.
Really, wouldn't it be amusing the see the masters of one up-manship vying with each other?
WE WON'T JOIN THEM
I'm sure you wouldn't be in that room. Nor would I. We know better. We applaud what others achieve. This is their hour in the spotlight, not ours. That's one of the reasons acquaintances make a point of finding us in business and social gatherings.
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