Yesterday, I wasn't able to post because I was ill. I also had plans to go to a panel discussion about people of color and psychedelic treatment and was not able to attend that, either. What ensued I could not have imagined.
Some of you that are familiar with my writing know that I do not believe in anything metaphysical. The reason for this is I used to but because of my illness, when I got very sick, I realized my beliefs weren't helping me at all and I went all out science and because of that shift I believe I am alive today. What I am writing about today some will think is of a spiritual nature, and in the old definition of the word is closer to the truth. However, what I am writing about is human potential that lies in every person because of virtue of the fact that they have a mind. No metaphysical beliefs required. The Buddha discovered the potential for nibbana (nirvana) which means the absence of deluded, unclear thinking. What arises in its place I was not so sure I could believe. Getting deeper into my studies recently I have reintroduced teachings about states of consciousness that are blissful but haven't gotten to deep into them because I have not personally experienced it. Until now.
My meditations had gotten me to a place that I felt refreshed, renewed and peaceful and that was really good enough for me. However, I find the whole process so fascinating that I continue to study and practice because nothing has ever made me feel so whole and complete. The deeper I dig into it the more I am drawn in like a magnet. I am now convinced that blissful states are real, I don't know how to recreate it, because it happened by accident but it happened as a result of practice as I will explain.
I began to feel quite ill and dissociate and got to a point where I felt I could no longer control my muscles. This is normally accompanied by a primal terror that is kind of hard to explain. Normally, the terror would take over and I had become resigned to the fact that I was always going to be at the mercy of this. Last night that changed.
Because of my mind training I quickly began practicing mindfulness and not adding suffering on top of the symptoms. What happened next was nothing short of amazing. Suddenly, I felt my mind EXPAND, like a bubble of intense pleasure. Everything that was happening with my body, muscles and brain was not at all a concern. I still couldn't move but I was having this experience. It was clear, expansive and blissed out is the only way I can describe it.
I was still ill, I still had to over medicate myself just to get through the night but this experience has left me with a new level of confidence in the abilities of my own mind to get me through anything. Now, I am even more curious than before but I'm also feeling more relaxed about the whole process because it's all inside of me. I've uncovered a new level of awareness that has been taught about for thousands of years. I'm not saying I'm enlightened, I don't know anything anymore. All I know is that I like it. I need to do some more thoughtful research on this. I'm just glad I'm feeling better!
@soulsistashakti is a musical artist and writer based in NYC as well as a practitioner of Buddhist teachings. You can check out my music on my FB artist page at https://www.facebook.com/soulsistashakti
Check out my blog for other essays on Buddhism and meditation
Recent posts
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My First 10 Day Buddhist Samatha-Vipassana Meditation Retreat in NYC
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I think you have been studying and practicing for a while now and you were able to have some control over your thoughts. I'm glad it lead to bliss and I hope you get the same outcome in the future! :)
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Thanks Kenny! It's really filled me with optimism that the potential is there no matter what :)
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What good news you feel better! and your discovering dear is part of your path of growth without a doubt. I also do not dedicate the time I should but I must admit that since I started to walk the path of Yoga and Ayurveda, I began to stop seeing the others responsible for my life and to bother me for everything and everyone, I almost do not get sick , or my ailments feel like a warning, of possible angina, flu, etc. but never become so .... I still do not know if by my Ayurvedic dyes, by my yoga asanas or pranayamas but something has changed, as well you explain.
My experience in meditation, (today I'm not practicing too much), it's very good, I did the Level 1 course of "The Art of Living" and it was there that I could feel that magnetic field that surrounds us, the one that the yoguis who experience and They look for in their meditations. That made me believe and although I do not practice it anymore, it allows me to believe in all the power we have.
Have a beautiful day and you recover at all!
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That's the difference between yoga and Buddhism...the yogi's believe in that energy stuff (some Buddhists do, too) but the Buddhist teachings are mostly about the mind itself. Then there are the teachings about other worlds and beings...really far out :)
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undoubtedly I have to study more about it because my knowledge about Buddhism is very limited
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Amazing. You're shifting into your true self :)
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I can only report the experience 💖
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Nice Article Shakti
I like your pragmatic approach to life and the quest for truth. It seems like a lot of us are prone to quite magical and fantastic thinking, which we enjoy for a time and then eventually suffer when life breaks the illusion.
Like you say, more or less we really don't know much, it seems hard to admit that - yet there's something vital in living in the unknown.
Great to see that your practice of not getting involved in the mind drama is now yielding some fruit!
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Thank you. Let me be clear, I am not perfect or enlightened or anything. And this has not cured me of PTSD but it's helped me deal with it a lot better. I accept myself and my condition. Off to the doctor!
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I'm glad you're feeling better too! I love the third eye!
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