The Day I Quit My Job || The Importance Of Self-Esteem And Why We Need To Know Our Own Value [A True Story]

in business •  7 years ago 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt

It takes time and life experience to realize how valuable our doings really are.

Today I'm going to tell you the story about a young lady and her personal Independence Day - the day she learned to esteem her own value and to set boundaries to those who don't.

Here's to the importance of self-esteem and appreciation of manpower in business and life!

Independence Day

It was the 29th of June and her employment contract was supposed to expire the next day.

Due to a mistake of the Human Ressources Department the contract hat a validity period of only six months. Actually their collaboration was supposed to be established for years, but now a little administrational error would change everything.

As always her boss was quite busy. Still she was surprised that he hadn't even mentioned the deadline so far. Probably he didn't even realize that she wasn't planning to sign a prolongation without a renegotiation of her salary. During these six months she had been working like crazy and now the pay day had literally come.

Obviously he thought it was a safe bet. In other words: he had no idea what was going to happen.

On the 30th of June in the evening he finally asked:

Oh by the way didn't you want to talk about your new contract?

She sat down in front of his desk and knew that this was going to be 'her moment'. During the past weeks working with him had become a nightmare. Theoretical she had left the company a couple of times already. If she didn't love her job that much, she would have quit earlier.

The other day he started to yell at her since he didn't like the breakfast she had brought him to the office - even though it was exactly what he had ordered an hour before.

It was time to leave, but before closing the door she wanted to play a bit. She knew that her work was worth a lot more than he was willing to pay her. Also she knew that she deserved to be treated with respect.

Now that she was sitting there enjoying his full attention, she wanted to find out how far she could go. To play back the ball and let him open the match, she asked him what he was able to offer. When he explained that there was no offer and that the new contract was supposed to be exactly like the old one, she told him that she couldn't sign it then.

At that point of time her overtime account had reached the incredible amount of 220 unpaid hours. In only six months she had been literally working five weeks for free. This was an incredibly smart argument.

The re-negotiation of her new employment contract took three whole working days. Probably they weren't fighting for money anymore. They wanted to find out who showed the greater persistence.

Guess who won in the end!

On the 3rd of July in the evening he finally accepted her request. She wanted him to double her salary and he agreed. The negotiation with him was pretty hard and there were several moments when she felt that she was going to lose the game.

During the past months she had learned a lot, especially how valuable her own work was - not only for this company but also in general. With time and experience her self-esteem had grown incredibly strong.

For a few days the hierarchy between them had magically disappeared.

She wasn't just his Assistant anymore, she had become a respectable negotiating partner at eye level.

The day after their agreement was the 4th of July.

He was traveling and she somehow tried to handle the incredible amount of work. During the past weeks it had become almost impossible to get her things done in a regular business day. There were few days without hours of overtime.

At 6pm he called her.

One of his friends was arriving at the airport and he wanted his driver to pick him up. She informed him that the driver had already left the building since his working day ended at 5pm.

He completely freaked out.

His following statement became the famous straw that broke the camel's back as well as their collaboration.

Who the fuck shit into your brain? If I'm right there are currently a thousand people working in my company, so don't tell me that there is no one who can drive to the airport now!

She paused for a second, took a deep breath and then told him that he didn't need to worry about it anymore and that she was taking care of everything.

It was one of these moments she knew damn right what she had to do.

She hung up the phone, grinned, looked at the two colleagues that were sitting close to her and said: 'It was a pleasure working with you guys. Today was my last day at this company.'

Then she took her bag and left the building.

It took her a couple of weeks to realize what had actually happened during these days. It had been quite intense. She definitely learned for life - and especially that her work was worth a lot.

From that day on she knew that nobody would ever be allowed to treat her in such way again.

Remember: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Know your value!

Best,
Marly -

Thanks for your valuable time!
This blog was launched at the end of July 2016
aiming to provide stories for open-minded
people who enjoy living on the edge of their lives,
stepping out of comfort zones, going on adventure,
doing extreme sports and embracing the new.
Welcome to the too-much-energy-blog!

PS: Don't forget that this is a troll-free zone.

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Yes, of course ..
If God is the one who promised us to make a living on the condition of work
why self-humiliation for food for humans !!

And his friend is still waiting at the airport. ... Patiently waiting, getting tired of the mediocre food available at the kiosks. He keeps looking at his watch even though the battery stopped 3 months ago. "Where is that darned driver" :-)

Hahahaha, thanks for the laughter :-D
I think he grew a long white beard standing at that airport terminal - lol.

Dear @surfermarly . It needs a lot of need that you have.
Of course, a high self-confidence person can do that.
Congratulations on working with Steam and success. we see you and hope to future.

Brilliant post Marly!! Too often people just put up with being treated badly in the workplace and what for?? Great message here, stand up for who you are and your own worth :)

Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoyed the read. And YES, many people just keep going without really knowing why...

Stepping off the rat wheel and finding freedom to create and actually be one's self is incredible. What a feeling it must be and an inspiration for the few seeking it. I would imagine immense weights have been lifted and the girl can finally breathe........

finding freedom to create

THIS. Often people are forced into certain structures and mechanism where they can't ever be creative. I've never really understood why most managers don't prioritize bringing out the best in their employees.

Oh Man it reminds me a theory Will Vs Skill which i read in psychology book. I do agree

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Know your value!

Man is the incharge of his/her own will. He needs to put things in a balance. She seems a very courageous lady who remained very decisive and dominated his boss like an impressive person.
In Holy Quran it is mention

It is you only, who can is the responsible of your fate

In this regard i can remember another great Quote

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Great Job, I am following you since yesterday and I REALLY appreciate your write up @surfermarly
Keep writing such worth reading Articles

Stay Blessed :)

What an inspiring comment, thank you! Great addings here.
Probably these big life decisions are pushed by emotions but then based on rational arguments. The simple fact that we feel uncomfortable shouldn't be the only reason for us to quit something. Big changes require solid arguments. My formula is: think - feel - act (in this order) :-)

Again, thanks for stopping by I appreciated your thoughts!

Marly, I loved this story.
It is a crazy moment when something happens and you can never go back, its a delirious feeling, pure action.

Thank you for sharing this story, I was wondering how you ended up quitting your last job. Standing up for your value is an epic end. Proud of you. I hope this inspires someone to leave their crappy boss with as much spunk as you did.

As always, thank you for being inspiring :)

Thanks for your lovely feedback!
You're absolutely right: it's pure action and adrenaline and endorphines. Still you don't know if it was the right decision until you do the next step. Making a decision and closing one door is brave, but the really hard part comes afterwards when you need to turn your new opportunity into a real chance.

Life is such an amazing ride!

There have been occasions in my working career where I'd have loved to have the guts to do similar; I guess we all have.

It's not always the best decision to quit. We need to balance reasons and be very safe before making such a groundbreaking decision. Sometimes closing one door means changing your whole life situation. Such moments require a lot of courage, strenght and persistence.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts :-)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I've always dreamed of running a café by the sea. Simple fresh and clean food. We moved to the coast this year which was a step in the right direction but still a long way to go until I find the courage to move closer to my dream.

I'm a corporate man, always have been so not great at not having some form of perceived safety blanket.

Love this!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I'm very proud of this person for understanding her worth. Now she can work to positively affect the lives of others, free from the shackles of unappreciative employers.

Well done this lady!


My last day was the 29th August 2017 - lets see if we can gain freedom and keep it!

Hey Ash!
I'm very proud of her, too :-)
What I know from your posts and our conversations is that you did very well on that 29th of August. Crossing my fingers that life will always reward you for your courage.

Great post that soooooo many of us can identify with. My last bout with this type of thing-not the verbal abuse- but just being treated unfairly for one reason or another and dared to notice. Trying to negotiate with my boss was impossible so I did the next best thing, in my mind, and started my own business using my expertise that was carefully ignored and did a similar business with a twist. It was very hard and I had to have a job, my boss knew my circumstance, I managed to juggle the two "jobs" until
my business attracted investors which made things really begin to happen. Looking back, it was a true miracle that saved me from drowning after the big plunge! I never look back to those days only to gain respect for all that are in this type situation and make it "out"!

Great post that soooooo many of us can identify with.

I'm overwhelmed by the feedback! It really seems that many of us have lived similar situations in our lives.

Thanks for your insight, what an inpsiring story! Whenever we start something new it requires special efforts. But mostly when we're really convinced about a project and doing what we love, things fall into place anyways.

Working hours don't count if you follow your heart!

Amazing post. People stick at their jobs, because it gives them security. But "need" for security comes from insecurity. Brave girl ! Honestly one of the best moments in my life was when I quit my "blue collar" job.

Thank you! Quitting is not always the right decision. But sometimes closing one door means opening a new one. If that new path is more promising than the old one, then we should give it a try. Change always requires a lot of courage and efforts, but if it's going to improve your life situation then it's always worth it...

My formula is: THINK - FEEL - ACT (in that order) :-)

My first job as a teacher, I hated walking into work and dealing with the adminstration. Every single week, a different theme to dress up:cowboy, halloween, favorite book...wtf. All I wanted to do was teach, it sounds crazy but working ina school with a highly involved PTA can make it difficult.

After sitting in my class passing out cupcakes to 13 year old children, one of them started complaining about getting a chocolate cupcake and it was at that moment..the I realized...yo wtf and I doing here?

I got my bag and walked out of that prep school to work in one of the most underpriviledge schools in my district. A few years later I was nominated for a national teaching award...feel free to look me up.

The point, follow your dreams...if it doesnt involved cupcakes and screaming children run the fuck out.

Great and inspiring story here!
I'm so happy many people felt inspired to share their own experiences in the comment section. What a nice thread full of powerful real life situations!

Congrats on your bravery and the award. We need to do what we love in order to reveal our true power and become superstars :-)

It's been nearly 4 years (end of Jan) since my own 'Independence Day'. The whole thing was a clown show, with a lack of respect shown all round (their lack of planning and assumptions were somewhat similar). Not for me thanks, and clearly not for you either… enjoy!

Unfortunately, the higher the hierarchy level the more developed the disrespectfulness. With power comes arrogance and people start forgetting that once they were little, too.

A person's value is not defined by their job position. It's defined by their humanness.

What the hell. That guy is a rude asshole and for what?

I hope you were able to just leave the office like that though, don't know about laws and regulations when it comes to instant resignation hehe.

@things should read this too, by the way!

Haha, it really seems he was an asshole :-D Thanks for making it that clear - lol.
She had so many holidays left that they even paid her a nice bonus after leaving, not kidding!

Oh that's really nice for her! Pretty awesome :D

great inspiring story @surfermarly,sometimes job become more valuable than anything and we keep working and working for many hours and after sometime we realize that what we have miss in life like friends,family and our quality time and we just stuck in our office job.By the way "Remember: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Know your value!" this quote is very valuable.thanks for sharing your moments with us.Waiting for your next post.Upvoted and resteemed.

Thanks for your nice comment and support! I'm happy you found inspiration in this piece of content :-)
Working hard and investing much time is actually not a bad thing, as long as you're doing what you love and treated respectfully by the people that surround you.

People don't realize how much of a brave person you have to be to do this. This takes courage. I know so many people that work their asses off and they don't get the recognition nor the paycheck they deserve. But still, they keep showing at work everyday because someone has to pay the bills. It breaks my heart. Maybe, I should introduce Steemit to them? :D

Everybody should be introduced to Steemit! :-)
You're completely right. Not everybody has the opportunity to change their lives in such way. If you're a mom or a dad you can't just say: Screw it, I'm done.
The more responsibility you have, the smaller you're freedom corridor... If you just act on your own and don't need to feed anybody else, you may afford a certain risk.

Quitting is always a risk since nobody can predict the future :-)

Oh man. Quitting a job that doesn't respect you is terrifying, but feels so good. Like leaving any abusive relationship. I'm lucky that I work for a pretty progressive group, and they treat me very well, and I have a lot of fun with my colleagues. Congrats for realizing that value in yourself and not taking a bunch of garbage for a paycheck. It's unfortunate that more people aren't able to walk away from things like that.

One of my ex-bosses used to say:

Breakups are cruel, but they teach us for life and form our character.

I'm happy that you're in such a balanced situation. Mine is very similar.
Many people don't have the chance to change their lives from one moment to the next. If you have a family, for instance, and don't just need to feed yourself, you have to act very carefully. Quitting a job can be a financial risk, and a lot of people can't afford that.

It's really empowering when one realizes their self-worth. Frankly, too many people use their employment as measure of self-worth.

Correct. It's not the employment that should define the value, but our skills and knowledge we invest. Everybody knows something, and everybody is good at something. We need to discover our own treasure and then monetize it accordingly.

Everyone has to advocate for themselves. Working at a job that hurts you psychologically is never worth it. People are worth so much more than what they do!

I couldn't agree more! Still for some it's hard to identify their own strength. The very first step is realizing that everybody is good at something.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Happy independence @surfermarly
You took to heart the advice of Robert Kiyosaki, "The rich spent their time building networks, everyone else looks for jobs".

These are wise words! Thank you :-)

I know this all so well. I was a helicopter pilot and made to feel so inferior because my log book had fewer hours in it than the chief pilot. Not a good environment to work in.

Thanks for the insight! According to the comments here, it seems that almost everybody has been in such a situation once... It's not always easy to know what we really want. But once we do, we need to act accordingly.

Congrats! Keep up the good work!

I believe what value we see in ourselves, others see the same. We think small of ourselves, others will do the same and push us around. That was a nice read Marly :)

Sure! With self-esteem comes self-confidence and then the corresponding attitude.
Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you enjoyed the read!

And off to the surf she went!

Very inspiring, someday I'll make it out of this office :)

Thank you!
Oh yeah, I think after that 4th of July she had a pretty nice summer! :-)

I agree a lot to your post. One should be where there is appreciation..We all should definitely know our value :D

Not everything in life is thank-you-cards and flowers. But efforts should be rewarded. Time is valuable, so we should spend it wisely :-)

Happy to see that it all started from 29th June, It's my birth date as well ;)
It feels great when you take a stand and go beyond limits :)

I have only good memories associated with your birthday though :-)

Yeah, Let's hope for more good thoughts this year ... Happy New Year :)

this is a great story,,, I know you are very adventurous due to ur previous posts I read.
well I just wish you all the best,, you just did what you love.

Thank you!
Not everything in life is adventure. While I enjoy facing the risk when I'm in the water, I prefer playing the safe game in my professional life. Emotions are important to double check your rational arguments (how does a certain decision make me feel?), but we shouldn't base important job decisions simply on our feelings. Business is hard and rough sometimes, and that's OK - as long as you're treated respectfully.

Nice post and keep it up

Hi @surfermarly,

Your blog is really good!

Thank you :)

Thank you, I'm glad you like it!

Actually do not have the freedom to do the job. The other is to follow the instructions.

The most interesting journey in life begins on the moment and day of self actualization.
The early stages of independence and self actualization is usually the toughest, most people give up at this stage, but the few that make it across always share great testimonies.

Wow! Nice write up. What a lesson for her and for me...

Hola amiga, muy interesante historia, gracias por compartirla. Nosotros somos los que le damos poder a los otros de dañarnos. Eso no podemos hacerlo

Muchas gracias, me alegra que te haya inspirado!
Nadie puede hacerte daño sin tu permiso. A veces es complicado decir 'No', pero hay que aprenderlo. Sin esa palabra estamos perdidos :-)

Hi. I was recently given my independence from my job of 30+ years. (A little piece of advice...do not offend your supervisor) . I like your way better, by choice!

Anyway, I felt I was happy with my job too and was totally surprised I wasn't
devasted for the rest of my life. Instead I am here on Steemit exploring new opportunities! Hopefully it won't be long before I can write them a thank you note for firing me as I have the time now to understand there is much more to life than a job.

Being given my 'independence' has been an awakening, enlightening and I am ready to make a run out of it.

Thank you for your post. We all need to stop, think, regroup and see what direction we are going much more often than we do

thank you for this post!

wow amazing sweet greetings for you

gracias por compartir tu historia, amiga...y me encanta el deporte surf

Negotiating is a very important skill! Essential in both business and personal life. And yes, having the confidence to command respect and raises is part of that!

thanks for the important info

incredible story! thanks for sharing it!

Good one, everyone should realize their own true value. I know exactly what it is like in your story.

Very interesting story indeed and definitely a lesson to learn from, our time is super valuable and i really enjoy use my time for my own purpose ,, lovely post though ,,gets us thinking about this topic deeper

Agreed, we shouldn't let others define our identity, how we feel, and everything. Choosing to quit is sometimes can free us for better opportunities awaiting us in the future. One example is the country singer Reba, the queen of country. The life of Reba is very interesting.

Totally agree you should not let anyone treat you in an inappropriate way,
You should never keep a job that lowers your self-esteem and in which you are not valued.
Every day you have to look in the mirror knowing that we are worth a lot and nobody can make you believe otherwise.

@surfermarly Love This. All too often, we get comfortable, secure, even feel safe staying in the same place. Unlike you ( myself years ago as well) many do not have that "defining moment" where enough is enough. Without that defining moment where you MAKE THE DECISION, I feel success will always be out f reach. This was a great post-so many people need to follow your example and have that moment where they realize their value lies within themselves, and not in what someone else says their value is. After that moment, comes the decision, then success. Thanks for posting this one! ...still waiting for you to don your superhero costume :-)

Amazing post! No one can bring you down if you don’t let them.

Yes, you teach people how you want to be treated!

Awesome post keep it up surfermarly God bless you

I always feel we are the gods of lives
No one else
No one else
Working for someone though ain't easy
I'd take kiyosaki's advice though while you work for someone else mind your own business

you are awesome ...

Looks like you made a good decision and you're pretty happy about it!!!

intersting post....steemit is our bright future....

Im in one of these situations where i don't value myself or think i can pull through alone. Maybe i do need counselling. Thanks for this post

what a great post it is!
something like representing so many people's story in one post.
hope you can continue enjoying your life as well dear.😉

Wonderful story! I love the ending! is it your story @surfermarly?

Good story, we should learn from it. Great message. Sometimes we forget we are worth it.

Great story, thank you for sharing.

Nice post but people actually stick to job because they believe that is the best they can get
But they have forgotten that what is inside them is very great and they are people out there that are willing to pay more. The thing is that if u can't leave there u can't get there

Exactly, our life is long and just stay without deep thinking is not enough to enjoy our career life. This will be good starting point.

Nice, I can't wait for my day to come!

It's your life. The day won't come until you make the decision :-)

Fabulous!

I am very motivated with your writing this, thanks for share your
experience..

a good cognitive history. I passed at work such.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

WOW. This gives a very inspiring message to everyone. To believe, trust and be confident on ourselves. Following you and looking forward for more inspiring post from you :)

Thanks for your positive feedback and the follow :-)

Truly inspiring, you are an example of the saying beyond fear is the treasure you seek.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt This is very true! Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope I can quit my job as well.

It seems to me that the people who treat others like garbage, know who they can keep on kicking and they focus on making those lives miserable. Boldly stand up for yourself!

@surfermarly -no employee should ever allow an employer to treat him/her with disrespect. Employees aren't slaves and are giving a service in return for payment - sadly many employers tend to forget that... a lesson like the one given by the girl is a bitter one to help them rethink about what they said and did..

Nice post (wonder if this is your personal experience at work).

I think it all depends on how you see and take things. I quit my job before and sometimes without having anything planned. Life is to have fun not to fuck around with a job that gets you nowhere. Peace!

Thank you for the storry.
Wating to read more from you :)

I particularly enjoyed this post because it reminded me of my own circumstances. They weren't nearly as dramatic but there are similarities. In fact I have written about career change on one of my blogs. If you get chance it would be great if you could take a look. Thanks again for your post

What a fascinating story with a surprising ending. Thank you it was a pleasure to read it.

Thank YOU for stopping by :-)