When You Loose Everything And Had Everything ... by : A Young Tired Man

in cancer •  5 years ago 

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Hi all, I don't make this post to have up vote or make money (i wish i would do a million....yeah...) but just to remember how is crucial and important to help other around you that you like or love but mainly that you have people around you that they love you or like you also.

Always keep in mind that those , you can loose them all at anytime you never know. So always say to them how you love them or like them and every time you have 5 minute and they ask for you , give them (mainly the kids you have if the case) Give them some of your time even if you work 100 hours a week like me.

I will say my little story , pretty long but pretty short. I don't know anyone here on Steemit , so for me its gonna be easier to open up myself and my heart

I was the kind of guy that is never home , i always have a project to do, always a customer to see for a renovation, or a friend to help since i have a Truck pick-up (to me that normal to help anyone that need help) or all sort of things that overtime , of course i did not see coming but, being too busy made me lost ALL i had, and the only 1 i loved for 15 years.

I am only 33 years old . Most of you will say to yourself ; He is only 33, he have plenty of time.... I would like it, but that's not the case. 6 Months ago, i was not feeling good, i did go to see the Doctor, to know that i had blood cancer etc. And i had 6 months left. This i have it since i am young, lost of all physical strengh some times to times, and all my body is doing huge red spot all over. Me and my mom we did go hundreds of doctor, or specialist. They never were able to tell me what i had, blood test after blood test . I had then about 10 years old not sure exactly but then it come a time that doing 5-10 blood test per day, going to see different doctor or specialist etc, and everyone give you a reference and say they are sure they will find out but they don't, you don't want a go there anymore.

I told my mom : Mom i don't want to go see some doctor anymore i am sick of this i just want to keep going, i feel good now so i don't want a go there anymore. My mom say that she was fine about it .

23 years later, I had to go to see 2 different doctor i wanted to be sure what the other was saying, but having 6 months left and knowing you have the blood cancer, trust me, its terrible .

I am a very but very smart guy ( i think ) and i did study a lot to be where i am ( not really mostly worked a lot ) and when i started to sometimes the morning loose the vision, or not remember what ive done last night because i have a customer who is calling me the morning telling that i was suppose to be at his house we talked yesterday night over phone about his carpentry problem or when you sleep and you sleep so much deep that people try to wake you up but you don't ( i wake up at every mice sound normally ) then i knew something was wrong.

After talking to doctor, i knew the end of the story for me, already...

Like in the movies, but now, its my story and its not a movie. You probably seen in movies what is it to do chemotherapy, or all these treatments , even someone around you do it.

I don't want a make this live to my 5 years old twins daughter , i don't want to be a sore for them or my wife, and i don't want that they will have to take care of someone, at their age they have to grow and grow but mainly they need their mother or father to teach them all sort of life things. They don't need a tired and sick father that will be a pain in the ass for them .

So i said to me, i will not do these treatments but also because i don't like the medication. I don't drink, i don't use drugs, but the med i don't like that as much as i hate the taste of a beer. For personal opinion and what i seen by myself not to enter in a debate about it.

Short story, 1 month after , my wife after 15 years being with her, tell me that she want to move on and she don't love me anymore. I wanted to keep it secret until that that i had 6 months left , but i could not, now knowing i need to leave my house that i have build in 9 years, all renovated by me , i mean, everything , my twins daugher , my dog, all at the same time . I call this either an act of god, or i don't know what.

I can't say i have been the best guy ever in those 15 years, but i am a real worker, who waked up every morning at sometimes 4:30 to get over the bridge before the traffic to montreal , having my customer on the isle of montreal because we live in the country and mostly everyone here is taking care of their house and me, i did not wanted to live with a job where you know exatly how much you do every week, or where you go every morning. I like challenge, i love what i do in the trade because me, i did study a lot to know what i know about electricity, plumbing, from carpentry to high end finished tiles and trims, kitchen name them, i do them all . 8 years i work for myself now, i never had a unsatisfied customer, and trust me here there is plenty of carpenter or contractor, you have to have something special to be chosen between all other. I had this special thing because when i go to work, i loved what i was doing. I always dreamed about being in the trade younger and i did live my dream.

Now that i lost everything, my wife, my physical strengh, my kids i will see them only 1 week end on 2 weeks its better if they live with their mother for stability and school i think . I never had a chance to had a father and stability that is why i am here today because all i did not had, i worked hard to get it. I lived in the street and i did a lot of bad things. Just knowing where i live the night make me happy (by that i mean for over 2 years when 18 years i did lived in the street and everywhere so having my house and my place to live i appreciate it ) i lost my dog, he will stay here its so much problem finding a place with dogs. Its been 4 months i stop to work, in i can almost say depression i know i will die so i don't care about nothing.

Yesterday night, i did finish to pack stuff not completely but almost , do you imagine a guy who work in trade with a house, i never trow anything in garbare i try to re-use anything i can because i am very good in anything i will work on it. I have a lot of stuff here, and if i take something, my kids will not have it anymore. I brought everything, did build everything, my ex she is the best wife in the world but she is not doing a lot of money but this i did not care. So i always have bring bread on table since i got nobody to back me up.

After 4 months , i don't have anymore, i will move to another place, that i will rent i can't afford to buy nothing of course, but my ex, she can't give me nothing also and the minimum she have, its important she keep it for feed my kids when i will not be there anymore. Maybe 1 month or 2 ago it was the day my neighbour a teenager that just finish school , his mother asked me if i could be the driver for the end of school and they needed a big and nice truck to pull a trailer with artisanal piano on it and dancer they were gonna do a parade at the military base and i said yes of course. They are always there if i need something so i could not say no. This morning my wife told me she did not wanted me anymore. This day i lost everything.

This day i lost my soul.

When i sea the parade it was so beautiful that I told to myself that i will kick my ass , and do what i need to do to see my twins doing their parade when they will be around 16 .

From a day to another, you can loose everything you had. Your wife, your kids, your house, your job, your dog, your swimming pool , but mostly your souvenir with the people you love.

Every times i put a item in my moving boxes, i cry and i cry and i cry like a baby . Every times i put something in a box, i see in my head all my souvenir , all my best souvenir.

So always keep in your mind, even when you have everything, You can loose everything .
Always say to people you like that you like them or to people that you love that you love them.
You never know what is gonna happen.

From : A young Tired Man...

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