Thoughts at 6am after a night of no sleep.

in cantsleep •  6 years ago  (edited)

I recently (and rather unwillingly) made the transition to complete nocturnal. That's right, night time has become my most active, tenacious, hungry-for-life time of sun cycle, and staying conscious in the daytime is as difficult for me as 2am rave parties for arthritic over 60's.

And it. Is wonderful! I have never in my erm... 20+ (too many to mention) years experienced this "joy of living" and "bright eyed, bushy tailed" thing everyone keeps raving about. Some background:

My father still regales all who will listen with traumatic reminisces of trying to wake me up for school mornings. My own memory is understandably hazy, but the most I remember was being pre-wakened by the sound of tooth brushing heavy metal concerts from the bathroom as my father woke and prepared for the ordeal that was getting me up, dressed and in the car in time (I live in South Africa you see, walking to school is not a thing we do here). But even if he could pry my fussing little corpse into standing position, I'd inevitably fall asleep again whether on the toilet, at the breakfast table or even in the shower. I, too, have traumatic memories - of being bundled into the car as if kidnapped, then waking up, bleary eyed, as I was bundled back out again facing my school building (twice, mind, with no schoolbag)

Adulthood got no better. In the three years I worked full time, I did not appreciate being forced awake by mockingly cheerful alarms, and I cried upon waking on more occasions than my dignity will own to. No amount of sunlight could help wake me and thus I sleep-worked until after lunch when my body finally resigned to conscious misery.

Long story short, in a twist of fate, I'm now a freelancer, and whether I liked it initially or not, being up till sunrise has been amazing. I'm not sure if it's true that some people are wired differently, but if it is I'm testament to it. I learn at my best, I work at my best, I AM ACTUALLY ALIVE to enjoy living at this time, and I am ever so confused by it. Is it okay to enjoy this? Am I being "lazy "? Should I get myself fixed?

Perhaps some of you could help me figure it out? Until then, I'll just be the weird bird that catches the worm before bedtime.

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