Armoured Cars for Dictators! Buy them for bitcoins!

Now, if you want to stand out you need an ar-moured Dartz all-terrain vehicle, so that losers can die of envy eyeing your luxury and so that enemies and deceived business partners can't hunt you down with missiles and mines. The good news is that in order to buy such a car, you don’t need to travel to the other end of the world or to look for a dictator who is selling his property for a mere trife as the gallows approaches. It is sufcient to just get to Latvia's capital Riga (Europe).

The Dartz company is headquartered in the Russo-Baltique factory, which used to manufacture armoured vehicles for the Russian tsars in the old days and also contributed to the invention of the helicopter. As the company’s representatives say they do not care at all about what your requirements are, since they are ready to implement all of them and surprise you. Still, no work will commence unless you open up your wallet and show them that no winds are blowing through it. How much should you have? Well, if your option is not a basic ver-sion, then there should be at least 1 million Euro in your pocket.

When cooperatives were allowed to be founded in the Soviet Union in 1988, this ofer was immediately snatched up by Leonard Yankelovich, thus giving birth to the Dartz company. According to the founder and current company representative, the inspiration to create armoured cars arose afer heavy vodka drinking following all the best traditions of the Russian mentality. An interesting thing about this whole miraculous story is not only that Leon-ard himself boasts that he has never been a car mechanic of any kind (and therefore knows little about machinery), but also that he has no driver’s licence, which means that he can't drive any of the steel horses that he creates.

ART

Each product made by Dartz is art, which Leonard considers to be tantamount to the famous Fabergé eggs: not everybody is so rich and not everybody can show real appreciation for a luxurious armoured car in terms of art. Besides, all the cars are diferent. If the owners of two lux-ury Bugatti Veyron cars ever met, the diferences between their cars, in most cases, would be colors, whereas in the case of a Dartz, several diferent accessories and options exist and much more is available for an extra amount of money. So the buyer that Leonard is aiming at is some-thing between the rapper Lil Wayne and a Saudi Arabian prince, though both extremes are possible.

Quite recently, the rapper Kanye West and his lovely wife Kim Kardashian decided to renew their car feet. Te DARTZ Prombron Iron Diamond, which was assembled based upon the Mercedes-Benz G-Class, cost the rapper 290,000 Euro. Twice this amount was spent on the car’s extra armour and its salon interior. But because he could not manage to reach agreement with his wife on the desired colour, the rapper decided that he would buy two cars with the same set of equipment instead. Afer the purchase, 1.7 million Euro dropped into the Dartz bank account.

A Dartz Prombron can ofen be seen on the big screen. For instance, in the movie “A Good Day To Die Hard”, this all-terrain vehicle was used to hunt down Bruce Willis all through Moscow. Whereas in an impressive 2012 cinema masterpiece, this gold-plated car was driven by the Wadi-yan dictator and all-beloved repressor, Aladeen. If it is namely a golden Dartz car that you want, the price starts at 350,000 Euro.

EQUIPMENT

Each Dartz car can be primarily chosen as a pseudo-se-dan or a pseudo-platform van. As previously mentioned, the choice of optional equipment is almost unlimited; you just have to have the money. For instance, only one Dartz in the entire world has a jacuzzi, whereas another has a royal-style bed. In the meantime, other owners of these cars want as much armour as possible, so that even an in-direct nuclear explosion would cause the least amount of damage possible. All the cars are also equipped by default with a black box – just like on aircraf. So, should the ar-mour happen to be breached, the boss’s last swear-words will surely be recorded. The most expensive Dartz car sold with the greatest number of accessories went to China – it cost its owner 5,000,000 Euro.

According to the company’s representatives, Russians always buy black cars, Arabians white cars, whereas golden, glittering and shimmering cars are chosen by rappers. It is namely for them that special golden alloy wheels whose shape resembles AK-47 ammunition are manufactured.

It is also worthwhile mentioning that this armoured all-terrain vehicle is not only one of the safest in the world but also the fastest. The maximum speed is 180 km/h (about 110 mph) which is an excellent result for a tank weighing 4 tons.

ARMOUR

A separate topic here is the car’s protection, which ex-ists in several options, starting with the lightest level, B2, and ending with the most complex, B7+. Moreover, the car can be equipped with cameras pointed in all direc-tions as well as various explosive sensors. And, if it’s really necessary, even an anti-missile defence system.

Unlike those made by other manufacturers, this car is delivered already shielded and protected and, therefore, much safer than those that, just afer having been manu-factured, are ftted with armour plating. Armour technol-ogy was devised in the Soviet Union called Te Capsule: frst a kind of armoured capsule for the passengers is con-structed, and then it is surrounded with the car’s compo-nents. Te weight of a “Dartz” car manufactured with all possible protection reaches 8 tons.

Even the bulletproof glass selected for the car is spe-cial – it’s the same type that’s protecting tourists from the odour of Lenin, who is lying in Red Square. Do you still doubt whether it's worth buying one? BTW, Russo-Baltique will gladly sell you one for bitcoins! Isn't that amazing? I think yes!