Ausencia/ Poema

in cervantes •  7 years ago  (edited)

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Ausencia/ Poema

Abrí los ojos, no puedo respirar
Mi cabeza estalla de dolor
¿Dónde estoy?
Grito de dolor

Me observan,
preguntan mi nombre
no lo sé ...
La boca me duele...

Poco a poco mi respiración
se tranquiliza
ya sé lo que ha pasado
otra vez tú...

Has venido sin invitación,
Ausencia me diste una paliza,
te llevas todo, me dejas vacía
te llevas por momentos mi tranquilidad, mis recuerdos

Ausencia debo aprender a vivir.
de tus visitas improvisadas,
habitas en mi cuerpo
debes comportarte.

Original de @artemisjane26

Nota: Me gusta leer tus comentarios
muchas gracias por leer y apoyarme
queridos lectores de steemit

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cervantes literatura poetry health epilepsia
7 years ago by

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    • [-]
      ·  7 years ago 

    I can't read the language
    I am attracted by the art.
    It's nice

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      2 votes
      [-]
        ·  7 years ago 

      hi! friend @masterpiz to your request I have done one in English I hope you read and understand my poem Thank you. absence-poem.

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        [-]
          ·  7 years ago 

        has que ella se comporte

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          2 votes
          [-]
            ·  7 years ago 

          Así tratare de hacerlo @tycozor; MUCHAS GRACIAS por leerme

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            [-]
              ·  7 years ago 

            excelente poema amiga....

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              1 vote
              [-]
                ·  7 years ago 

              Gracias por leer mi poema @ginolepak19

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                [-]
                  ·  7 years ago 

                Excelente escrito.

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                  [-]
                    ·  7 years ago 

                  Muchas gracias por leer :3

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                    [-]
                      ·  7 years ago 

                    Muy buen escrito, @artemisjane26... Aunque tiene un par de detallitos ortográficos pero está chévere. Saludos.

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                      [-]
                        ·  7 years ago (edited)

                      Hola @solimarcedeno muchas gracias por darte cuenta de los errores quisiera y me dijeras dónde están y los arreglo amiga, es grato encontrar personas que encuentran detalles ortográficos.

                      Acabe de editar algunos que me di cuenta espero sean esos amiga.

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                        [-]
                          ·  7 years ago 

                        :) El título dice "Ausensia", en lugar de "ausencia" como lo escribiste en el texto.
                        Y en este fragmento: "ya se lo que ha pasado
                        o través tú...", la manera correcta sería "otra vez tú"

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                          2 votes
                          [-]
                            ·  7 years ago 

                          Listo, muchas gracias @solimarcedeno

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                            [-]
                              ·  7 years ago 

                            ¡Siempre a la orden!

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