happy forever: chapter one part number four

chapter one: a state of torment.

part four

Once, a Catholic archbishop visited a mining district school to confirm a group of students who were about to go to church. during the service, the archbishop asked a little girl who showed signs of nervousness, which was marriage. and he received this answer: it is a terrible state of torment of those who enter it are forced to suffer for a time, in order to be prepared for a better world.

The local priest interrupted the girl and said: No, no! you are thinking in purgatory.
Do not interrupt her - the old archbishop said smiling - what do you know or what do I know about that?
Whether the marriage becomes a blessing or a torment depends solely on the conjugal partner.

One time a 29 year old person came to see me and told me that if I was not able to fundamentally change her husband within the next few weeks, she would have to divorce him. (and I was asked to do so even though the husband refused to seek professional advice.) I mentioned the alternatives, which are the same for all spouses who are in difficulties. Whether the problems are trivial or serious, each spouse has only three alternatives.

The first alternative is divorce, which may be the most frequently used remedy, at least in some countries, to resolve marital problems. Many marriages conclude that they have just cause to divorce or separate, and they do so by promising to be more careful next time. however, divorce is often unnecessary, because it is nothing more than a means used to escape a compromising situation.
The second alternative consists in enduring the painful situation, in hardening itself to endure it. this is done without doing anything to improve the unfortunate situation. people will never know how bad things are in a broken home unless one of the spouses makes the problem known; so that both try to act normally before others, and meanwhile they endure a difficult conjugal relationship. thousands of marriages have chosen this alternative because it is easier to face certain personal differences and then do something to resolve them. This is also an inconvenient decision.

The third alternative requires dealing with personal problems and making an intelligent decision to build a happy marriage from the existing one. Even those with incompatible personalities can learn to solve personal deficiencies. the word incompatible is too often used by people who are not willing to solve their difficulties, and who escape from them by divorcing, and marrying another person, numerous studies have shown that when divorced spouses whose marital relationships had neurotic traits, No matter how good their intentions are, they almost always reconstitute marriages with the same kind of neurotic relationships.

A psychiatrist commented that in all cases in which both spouses had gone to see him to have at least four counseling sessions (although they had already initiated divorce proceedings), not one of all couples ended up divorcing. not only did they get divorced, but in all cases, once they had decided to make the most of their current marriage, they made significant improvements in their interpersonal marital relationships. It is not easy to deal with individual imperfections, but it is the most mature of the three alternatives.

There are no unhappy marriages, if not only spouses who are immature, says Dr David Mace, renowned marriage counselor. if the spouses could develop mature activities, it would improve their relationships in all aspects. In reality, the journey towards the ideal marriage is also the journey of a child personality towards a mature personality.

good friends steemistas here another small part of this spectacular story I hope you like them I love them very much.