My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.
After 2 minutes all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
The other day I saw my dwarf neighbor at a bus stop.
I said, "Jump in, I'll give you a lift home!"
"Fuck off!!" He shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought, as a zipped up my backpack and continued to walk.
I tried to share a bag of chips with a homeless guy on the street.
He told me to "fuck off and buy my own"
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter "F".
What is a 4 letter word, sometimes is a 9 letter word, and never is a 5 letter word.
No, that wasn't a question...