Living happily ever after

in chainbb-general •  7 years ago  (edited)

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Being in a relationship isn't about the hugging,kissing,saying I love you always. Its totally about being with someone who makes you happy,someone you can be with for better for best,for richer for richer (being positive),
Most churches would say for better for worst,for richer for poorer (lol).

I love this lady's statement on the day of her wedding

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I know of a couple that got married and were so in love. Things went on smoothly and flourishing and they exchanged vows, I love you my love,baby boo,Bambi, Bestie,my world,my sugar bunny etc.

They even got to the point of saying my better half I kept on wishing and praying for such marriage,the husband was rich,tall,handsome,in fact he was every woman's dream,the wife on the other hand,was a fashion designer,independent and from a wealthy home too.

They were both had good career and having children was out of their list.
But as time went on ,she saw her friends having children and also wanted one, her hubby being supportive backed her up.

Every effort to have a child but to no avail,but they didn't give up,then she took in(got pregnant) but didn't inform the husband,wanted to surprise him.

Few months later, she lost (miscarriage) the baby and the husband lost his sight because of an accident. Things became hard and she left her husband because she couldn't stand the suffering.

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Going into marriage might initially look like a piece of cake, but there are challenges that you're supposed to be prepared for.

I usually tell people that

what you're not before marriage, you can't be when you're married.

If before you got married, you always judge people based on the physical appearance rather than the content of their character, you might one day get married to a wrong person, because a beautiful face or body doesn't make a home, a beautiful heart does.

Marriage isn't a competition. Sometimes you hear people say

All my mates are married and I'm just here, it's painful.

They got married before you doesn't mean their marriage is going to last.

Marriage isn't something you rush into, marriage isn't all about beauty, marriage shouldn't be based on material possessions.

6 keys to a healthy relationship

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1. look beyond what you see

Don't always look at the outward appearance, do you love his/her or his soul (the real man) ? Look inward to understand what's important to you as a friend/spouse.

I grew up in a family where almost every marriage failed and this gave me a mindset
that one day mine could be the same.

All I've been doing was to find out what exactly happened to each of those failed marriages and try to work on not making the same mistakes they made.

I've met someone who changed my mindset, though I had to deal with it (my negative mindset ) to accept her and not be pessimistic.

she's was always patient and inspiring. She gave me sometimes give me good books to read and made me believe that my mindset needed to be changed.

2: Teach your heart to be brave:

we need to teach our hearts to do the right Thing. I have LEARNT that love always come at a cost and only the brave can pay for it.

This is beyond you,you cannot love ya spouse by your own strength,you may always go weary,so teach your heart to be courageous and brave.

Love your spouse, not because you're in love with her only, but because you ought to.

3. Always put God first:

God is love,when you truly have him,you have the capacity to love unconditionally without fear or compromise. When you find a reason for loving,you will have a condition to maintain that love.

Make every moment count,hope,pray,love unconditionally and let it be that you didn't exist but you Lived and had The kind of love that has the power to change everything.

God sent his son to die, not because we asked him to, but because he thought we needed his death to have a better life. Now that's love.

A sacrifice was made for us, even without us asking.

Your husband made you mad before leaving the house for work had you've refused to prepare dinner because you're angry? No! Don't let someone else's bad attitude spoil the good you.

4. Life isn't all shiny like rainbows:

Even if you decide to move on and start afresh,you will find out that the grass isn't always green at the other side because life is full of challenges.

you can't avoid them and if you do,you'll just keep going round the circles.
The more you grow,the tougher you get and the more you'll master life.

5. Seek to improve each other

Carry yourselves out of the mud and improve yourselves ,improve your chances of getting back on the right track and inspire each other after a fight.

6. Never be selfish but be of service.

Everyone wants the best for themselves.
Follow your heart,do what makes you happy and what is good for humanity.

Don't let what makes you happy be a source of pain for someone else.

If you love loud music and your partner doesn't, it's better to adjust (adjustments won't kill you, it's a thing of the mind or get a headset.

never be selfish because self centered people are small and will never grow.

final words:
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Instead of running away and leaving your responsibilities,why don't you work on it,be an help mate,be of service,if your partner is disabled or bankrupt,why don't you help or encourage him and stand by every word you vowed rather than make life more miserable.

If you say you love each other,prove it,don't let your 'I love you" lose value.Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and requires reasoning and diplomacy with a lot of sacrifice.

Beware of the company you keep. some single people think in a single way
They don't know what marriage is like,don't tell them your problems instead ask your parents,pastors,successful married couples or go for counseling. Sometimes don't invite third party in your relationship, they'll ruin it.

Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands but let it go and you will know how precious it was and you didn't know.


my other articles
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You've got this spot on. You'll make a good marriage counselor

Thanks, I was just sharing my thoughts. How's your day going

Let me blow bubbles with my next statement. There's no 'living happily after'. There are only tips that can help you manage problems and stop them from escalating and bringing about total collapse of the marriage relationship. That's why those considering marriage should be reality conscious and know that marriage is 99% hardwork and just 1% romance. My opinion though and thank you for sharing.

True, thanks for that, 1% Romance

Wow...this is just perfect for the singles for better marriage and also for the married ones to work out their marriages.....am inlove with this....followed

Good advice!

Wow... this is very good advice for singles. Let's all resteem and spread the message. Nice one sir

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Beautiful

Thanks @jarrywill

great insight

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Nice one Sir

Thanks dear

A lot to ponder about on this post

The next big whale

Lol...
whale is already big na, why did you have to say big whale?
That's tautology...

Great work Bro. This tips of marriage u just gave will really be helpful to me in d future.

Yea, I'm preparing for the future too