All blame you, you if not you I was successful. You look at you, what can you do, can never do something; No matter in life or work, and how often you hear such words.
For these habitual accuse others of person, is I today to introduce another communication attitude "blame". Accused the crowd, in the five kinds of communication mode is big, the proportion of about thirty percent. They often attack others think they had done nothing wrong. If the result is bad, it is someone else's fault, they will always produce a itself is the phenomenon of authority; We know that a harmonious way of communication It should be: self, others, close to three kinds of interaction; For this part of the crowd. No others only oneself and environment.
So in the process of communication, they often ignore other people's feelings and thoughts, also ignored his own this way, can bring the negative impact of the other party.
Many parents in the process of children's education, in order to ensure their own authority, and not let the child darling obedient, always habitually to the child, saying, I have taught you, why are you always do bad, what are you doing, not a thing to do to my satisfaction. Such words are but children are bombarded with confidence, lead to the low child identity. Grew up will be influenced by family education, self-abasement, sensitive, suspicious.
Interesting is accused in the marriage relationship type, type often grow to please people do partner. As you can imagine this communication scenarios, a constantly accused the mistake responsibility boil down to each other. And one is constantly mistake, says it's all my fault; Seems like this relationship is complementary, but is not. A more and more feel taken for granted, more and more low to dust, his keep by cosying up to the other side of the concession. But there is no retreat, then what is the result.
Undeniable type accused person also have advantages, they will usually show confidence, and dare to express their feelings; But the downside is also very obvious, the habit accused person will often let the other side depressive. Such communication will not only affect intimacy, may also affect their interpersonal relationship. So, in order to avoid the negative effects of too much blame, used to accuse people can try to learn to pay attention to other people's feelings.
When you want to blame, you can be yourself; For example, choke yourself, let yourself calm down first. Listen to each other's feelings and needs is what in your heart? Reflect on the question of contradiction between point where, whether there is a problem. Then will you feel tried to use the tone of gentle expression come out. So two people speak each other's feelings, calmly of communication effect, also can be helpful.
For people who blame type, the key is to practice, pay attention to understand other people's feelings. And as the accused party namely to understand each other, also don't have no reason to encourage each other. If the other side of the accused, really makes sense, that can listen to correct them, if it is not reasonable, then you also want to try to express your feelings and thoughts.
Try to change their mental state, positive and optimistic to face every problem!
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