(contd) (part3) So Here's One Of Those Important Questions

in charmin •  7 years ago 

In those times when you've TRIED HARDER to make things work with a man and put MORE LOVE and ENERGY into a relationship when he's pulled away... is the reason that it hasn't worked for you because you're not SAYING the right things?

Or could it be that what you were saying didn't really matter, because he had his mind already made up?

Important question. Here's the truth:

If you've been close to a man, shared an amazing level of love and connection - and you know what you've shared is "real" - then the reality is that when he pulls away from you and tells you he's unhappy and unsure of wanting to be with you...

On a "logical" level he has decided that he would like to try and move on. But on a deeper EMOTIONAL LEVEL, a man has rarely made up his mind about not wanting to leave if you're still close and he's at all conflicted about things with you.

Deep down he still has that same place in his heart that wants to connect with you and share what you used to share - and would want to do so again if things were "different" than they've become.

After all, he felt strongly before. He wanted to be with you before things went wrong.

A Mistake You Want To Avoid
Now, some women sense this kind of thing where a man STILL HAS FEELINGS for them but is saying that he wants to leave... because they can sense it inside him INTUITIVELY, which is great.

But here's the problem with this:

Instead of using this intuition to their benefit... they actually end up shooting themselves in the foot with it by trying to CONVINCE the man of what they can see inside him... and try and SHOW HIM how to get back in touch with that place inside where he still loves and cares for them.

If you know much about how human behavior works - or more importantly, about how men respond and LISTEN - then you know that trying to tell a man all the things YOU can see that he can't isn't a great way to approach things.

If you're like lots of other women who have tried to "save" your relationship unsuccessfully - then some or all of the 4 common responses I described above ring true for you and didn't work out well.

You "went with your gut" and your intuition, and tried to get a man to see all the things YOU KNEW to be true about him and your relationship. But these weren't the things that he was able to hear or understand about you, about himself, or about your relationship.

To make a long story short... it's important to remember that even though you see the "truth" of your situation and try to share it with a man... this is YOUR TRUTH, and NOT HIS. He has an entirely different perspective altogether.

Which is why trying to be the one to fix your relationship by CONVINCING a man of what YOUR INTUITION tells you doesn't often "resonate" the same way for him the way it does for you when you talk about what you're seeing and feeling.

In fact, sharing your own intuition about him and your relationship only makes him RESIST YOU even more... and want to get farther away from you and your old relationship.

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