Fuck It, Before It Fuck's You #122 (Drivin' down the sidewalk)

in chauvin •  4 years ago  (edited)

Hello internet people! What is up? I feel like I need to change my opening up. Am I dong it right? Probably not, but at least I’m trying. To some extent anyway. But it’s been an eventful week. Good things have happened for me and for the world. The weather’s been lovely but apparently wildfire season has started already. When I lived in the Midwest I used to ask why people lived somewhere that has a fire season. Now look, here I am! Well whatever else is going on, it’s Thursday morning here on the west coast and time for me to put out another blog. So here it is.

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So Tuesday was a good day. For the first time in Minnesota's history, apparently, a white cop was convicted of murdering a black man. All it took was it literally happening live on video and national outrage. Sentencing will happen in 8 weeks, and personally I think they should get Marcellus Wallace to do it. Get all medieval on his ass with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and whatnot. But who knows? Maybe the media will have us fixated on something else by then and they’ll quietly let him off with a slap on the wrist, We’ll see what happens I suppose. But of course Nancy fucking Pelosi has to ruin everything because let’s face it, that’s her job. So in this instance she thought it would be appropriate to thank George Floyd for “sacrificing” himself for justice. Well that’s sweet of you to say Nancy, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t his own idea. I doubt he woke up that morning and thought “I hope I get killed by a shitbag cop today, just on the off chance that he might actually be convicted. Then I want politicians to posture on it.” Saw a picture of a George Floyd mural with the caption “Now he can breath.” No, I’m pretty sure he’s still dead. And I’m pretty sure you don’t have to breathe in the afterlife. At least you shouldn't. The only reason to breathe is to stay alive, so if I have to keep doing that bullshit after I’m dead then I’d rather just not exist. But back on track. I’ve also seen conservatives call this “Mob justice” This would be as opposed to frontier justice, where one shitbag cop gets to play judge, jury and executioner in the case of the fake $20.
In other good news, President Joe Biden announced recently that the United States will fully withdraw from Afghanistan (otherwise known as the country I can’t spell) on September 11th, 2021. And it really confused me because I thought we were supposed to withdraw on May 1st? What was wrong with May 1st? Isn’t that when we signed a treaty saying that we would leave? So I guess this means that when the Taliban start attacking, because we’re not leaving when we said we would, then we’ll have to send more troops in to continue to never finish what we started.
But there is one more piece of good news I have to talk about. The United States Senate, on 4-20 of all days, announced that it will vote on legislation to legalize cannabis throughout the United States. This is of course wonderful news because now even if everything else is going to shit, at least we’ll be able to get high. So when all else fails just kick back, light one up and say fuck it, before it fucks you.

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