On Cheaters and Cheating

Hello everyone!

I was aiming to post something about travel today. It's been a long time since I posted a travel blog so I decided to give myself another chance. But it seems that my plan will be pushed to another time. Perhaps when I'm having a peaceful mind. There's this Twitter thread about cheating and entitlement. I was really enraged by that particular thread that I thought my hours in the cafe was a waste. It could have been productive and worthwhile, but I was just keep scrolling down my phone.

To compensate for the trouble I had to go through, just to go out our house, I decided to write about cheating instead. I have to produce an output as I have to at least break even with my investment.

To start, I aimed to understand the views of both the cheater and the victim, although I still couldn't understand why people commit to such acts. If you really love your partner, would you dare to break his/her heart?

I have to apologize if this will go biased towards the one being cheated. I wanted to at least weigh both sides before expressing my opinion, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't understand why people cheat. I really wanted to express my opinion about the topic before, but it was just now that I was triggered to do so.

Cheating is very real and it seems to be a norm in this generation. What surprised me the most was that what happens in reality is far more bizarre than what is depicted in our favorite prime time shows. I can attest to that because it really happened to my close friends. The problem is, those who cheated seemed to be more entitled. They have the audacity to demand and sometimes, they're the accusers until they were caught red handed.

Back to that Twitter thread and the reason why I was enraged. I really wanted to put the link here, but apparently, the guy deleted his tweets as he was not able to handle all the sarcasms and criticisms hurled at him. Don't worry if that thread was erased. I got you covered since I have the screenshots. You can find them below. I knew he would delete them as I knew he wanted to gain sympathy. He's miserable as he can't believe the girl was able to find another guy and moved on. Anyway, here's the summary:

1. There's this guy who cheated on his girlfriend for 4 months.
2. The girlfriend found out, broke up with him, and immediately found another guy.
3. Miserable as he is, the guy cried foul over the girlfriend's move and invoked the 3-month rule.

Here are my takes on this issue:

First Point: "Cheating is wrong in all aspects."

In my opinion, there's no justification to cheating. As they say, it will start from a harmless text, from a harmless thought, or from a harmless interaction. There's nothing wrong with those "harmless" actions as we all encounter all of those kinds. What's wrong is that you keep on entertaining those temptations and you don't keep your heart and mind in check. You have all the time and opportunity to stop, assess your emotions and actions, and decide on what to do next. And yet, you continue to be ensnared by that foul behavior.

Sometimes cheating will pop up as a topic in our gatherings and we thought people cheat because they perceived that what they're doing is okay. So it's important to have true friends. Friends who are willing to hit you in the head if you have done something wrong. In that thread, I guess his friends are just like him. They support the guy's action. I would say they're not his friends in the first place.

Another factor we thought was that people who cheat don't want to risk the stability they have with their partner. They wanted to explore other possibilities with their their party while enjoying the "stable" relationship with their partner. That, for me, is selfishness. If things don't go as planned with your current partner, why not split amicably or sort things out together instead of finding a third party?

"He/She doesn't have to know." is another thinking I couldn't understand. If you're not honest in small things, no one has an assurance that you will be honest in bigger things. Being afraid to tell the truth is cowardice and another selfish act.

Second Point: "The moment you cheat, you stripped yourself of any right to demand."

The problem with the guy in the thread is that he's demanding some kind of sympathy from people. He wants people to demonize his ex-girlfriend for moving on so early. He's miserable and that he demanded some kind of restitution to his actions. I would say that once he cheated, he waived all his rights over his girlfriend.

He claimed that his ex-girlfriend messed him up. He did not realize that his actions messed his girlfriend way before they broke up. I sensed that's misplaced and misguided masculinity there. The girl was able to finally get out from that toxic relationship and it must be liberating. This is what I don't like about men. They tend to demand like women owe them. Just read the thread further to find out.

Dude, you don't have the right to claim that you were messed up by your ex-girlfriend! You brought that up to yourself. You deserve more than that! You don't deserve a second chance. You deserve to rot.

Third Point: "There's no such thing as 3-Month Rule."

He cried foul over the girl's action and invoked the 3-Month Rule. Wait, is there such thing as 3-Month Rule? It might apply to normal relationships. It might apply to normal and peaceful splits. Maybe just to give time for both parties to reach a conclusion that they're not really going back together. Maybe it will apply to normal relationships as a signal that both parties have really moved on.

That guy's relationship is not normal. That guy is not normal. He deserved to be dumped immediately. I would counter by invoking that he has waived his rights to demand. It's now the girl's right when and how she would move on from that toxic relationship. If she thought that it's her way of moving on, so be it. Whatever happens to her now and in the future is her choice and freedom. I guess it's time for her to regain her control over her emotions.

I was really appalled by that guy's audacity to demand. I guess there are people who are having illusions over their entitlement. Dude, grow up and be a man who is responsible for his actions. Quit with that unbecoming behavior!

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As promised, below are the screenshots of that thread. It's your time to decide about the issue. Please don't hesitate to comment below, whether you agree with me or not.

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_{P.S. This is an opinion piece. Any counter argument is welcome. I don't claim absolute certainty over those words.}