Child-free? My story (Part1)

in childfree •  7 years ago 

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I like to think sometimes on different topics, and share my thoughts with people. I do not claim in any way that my ideas are the only true or correct ones. I want to clarify, my philosophy of life fits in a phrase spoken by some clever man: nothing is true, everything is possible.

This statement coincides with the fundamental concept of quantum physics, and I'm exploring this world as a world of potential opportunities of any scale. Therefore, I respect any point of view and I just want to share my thoughts. If suddenly I find like-minded people who agree with my words, or supplement my ideas, I'll be glad to hear from you in the comments.
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To begin with, I will touch on the theme of child-free. I am child-free. Well, I did not know about that word "child-free" but one day I decided to google it, if there is people in the world like me, and I found out that this is called child-free and I'm not alone.

Precondition for being child-free is in my childhood when I knew about the appearance of children. It was terrible, I still remember my horror and desperation from what I have to go through. It seemed unnatural and wrong to me, dangerous and disgusting, I felt like some kind of alien creature... And I thought that the boys were luckier))

However, time passed and I am happy that I was born a girl, because as it turned out, I have a right for my conscious choice - to become a mother or not. Here I must clarify that I came to this conclusion much later, when I was already 28 years old. Until that time my female firmware was standard, I was convinced that a woman should give birth to children - this is our task as women. And I was ready to join the system, to create a family cell and have children.

When I got married, my mother gave me a wise advice - not to hurry with the birth of children, and enjoy my young age. I very carefully listened to her advice, and caught the gist - with the birth of children, freedom ends.

My marriage broke up after a year and a half - before I was morally ready for pregnancy. My next relationship, too, did not last long. My female relatives began to put pressure on me, that it's time for me to give birth, because the age has already approached.

And so, one evening I was laying in my bed and thought about how stupid the situation turned out. I wanted to meet a man with whom I will be happy and who will be happy with me. And the children had to be a complement to this idyll. And now, because I need to have children, I must find a husband as soon as possible. Even if I'm not happy with him. And to live with him, even if I stop loving him. Because children should not suffer if their parents could not find someone more suitable for themselves.

And then I had the first thought of what would happen if I refused to give birth to children. Frankly, this idea was frightening for me. Because it contradicted all the convictions in my family and even in my known world. Admitting this thought, I felt like I was breaking the law, as if I had gone beyond what is permissible. And I was frightened of this thought. I threw it away as unacceptable for a normal woman.

However, when I calmed down, I decided to make a mental experiment - what would happen if I took this thought. And the more I thought, the more attractive it seemed to me.

The matter is that I am a creative person, and having thrown off the burden of child-bearing responsibility, I felt freedom that I could use to self-realize in life. After all, when alone or with a like-minded partner, then you are stronger, you can risk your stability and material well-being, for the sake of higher goals.

That evening I decided not to have children until I met a man who would awaken this desire in me. And if by that time I can not already give birth to a child, it is always possible to adopt a child. In the world there are many children who need love and care. And I believe that it is better to take care of those lonely children who have already been born and live in this world, than to create more children offering them the world of sufferings and lies.

I'm child-free, and this is my conscious choice. Having made such a choice, I returned to thinking about the question of parenthood many times, and I have a certain ideology that I will gradually develop and share here. I will be glad to read your comments :)

Thanks for reading my posts!
Sorry for my English :)

All the images used in this post are my property.

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