I have a friend, an oldster like me, who is struggling, shut me out for a while, opening up again, still maybe stuck in the past of childhood trauma, and I reminded her:
We never would have walked/run away from that life to all the great good and bad adventures that make great stories today had we lived inside a childhood utopia. (She and I met while working at the Mt. Washington Hotel in NH in 1965)
I decided a few decades ago to consider the words of Tom Robbins: It is never too late to have a happy childhood.
It's true. We can each change our realities by focusing on what was good, and accepting, and then challenging, what was/is bad.
We are only victims if we choose to be.