I wish if I could explain how much it hurt me when I heard that she (Don't want to mention her name) left home. She was a regular trainee of @WomenEmpowerment and was a student of class 10. Her father is a rickshaw puller and was only able to send her to school doing hard work all day. I was also supporting her providing training for sewing and handicraft work.
Last month, I visited her home and paid her payment for work for my @WomenEmpowerment project. Nobody expected she will flee away from home with her classmate or friend. I saw her several time with the boy when she was coming from school and it was normal to see them together as they walk few KM to go school together. But they were planning to leave home when the final exam finish. As soon as they completed the Secondary School Certificate (SSC), they left home and got married in Dhaka.
According to her friends, they both trying to work in garments factories. She called at home from an unknown number and said to pray for them and she is ok. Her parents are so upset.
But the story could be like that "As soon as her exam finish, her parents had the plan to give her marriage with someone she doesn't know?"
She was holding a work she did when she was with @WomenEmpowerment.
It is not only a story which hurt me. I heard several story recently in our area. A 12 years old girl also left home and she was only in class 6. She was also a trainee of @WomenEmpowerment. She returned home one day after she leave the home. The boy who was with her was also 14 years old only.
Two weeks ago, A boy got married (family arranged ) who was only 15 years old and the girl was only 14 years old. Police later charged the family members. The boy was disturbing the girl when she goes school. As the mother of the girl was in trouble, she decided to stop her school and go away from the area. But the boy convinced her mother by telling he will die without her. As the mother of the girl was from lower income family. She agreed and the family of the boy was also convienced by him.
You will be strange the witness of the marriage was 12 years old who is my relative too. He got a huge punishment from his family. Local leaders came and told police that they will take action about it. Police left the place and now everything normal. I guess soon the family will give them separate home for the teenage couple. My friends and I make so much discussion about such issue but it goes like fun. We are 25 and some of my friends now 28 but still unmarried because we want to do something before marriage. Also, our elder members of the family still unmarried. So we can't marry before them.
We are 10 siblings at home. My one brother and one sister got married and the gap between their marriage was 3 years. So my serial is after 7 members of the family. As my position is the youngest brother so maybe have to wait 15 years more for marriage. It can be true if any special changes don't take place.
I just wonder what is the reason for early marriage? are parents are only responsible? I will give responsibility to all. The world became very open. Teenage and even children watch movies, romantic stories at home and restaurants near the streets. They also access mobile phone some time to get unuseful things which teaches them as an adult. I remember a few days ago when I was taking a cup of tea. A small child was eating in the restaurant and he was watching the TV too. We felt shy to watch the TV and we left the restaurant as the movie for adult and also adult talking was going on. But the boy was watching and laughing while he was watching. I asked the manager to move the movie and left it.
So we are facilitating them if we don't stop. Do you have any opinion how I can deal with this issue? Please let me know in a comment.
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What is the minimum age for marriage in Bangladesh?
I dont think it's as simple as seeing adult movies. It's a whole cultural and family based thing. We see a lot of under age relationships before marriage here and I think a lot has to do with the break down of families. They look for love and support elsewhere.
These things take a long time to change, often generations, but what you're doing now with the school and empowering women is definitely the right approach. You are potentially strengthening families so they can spend more time together instead of working constantly.
With a strong family relationship, children can see adult movies with supportive parental guidance and have a better understanding of the realities of what's going on there. They can learn why we don't feel these choices should be made when so young.
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Legally, the minimum age of marriage is 21 for boys and 18 for girls. The stories I shared happened very recently and with people I know them personally. Maybe many people don't know it but as I work with slum women and children so I get the news anyhow. The registrar of the marriage sometimes take a bribe and increase the age of them when they go for marriage. Also, people change birth year if it is a problem. I don't know how they do. But 1 year ago, one of my relatives married with love relation and he was 17 years old and the girl was 16. He increased the age in birth certificate for marriage.
Our culture does not appreciate to watch romantic or love relationship movies with parents. Maybe it is changing somewhere in Bangladesh, but as we are from an area where people are conservative so we don't do this. This is why we left restaurants as there were some senior citizens. I also think it depends on cultural and family based becasue of lack of education, awareness and trends of family culture.
I am hopeful that it will change and I will try to address this issue to people I am working with. Thanks for your opinion.
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That sounds like what used to happen back in England. A few generations ago you had to be 21 or you could marry at 18 with parental consent. Many would marry at 18 and say their age was 21. The marrying age is now 16 with consent or 18 without.
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