The Gift of Time

I hear this a lot, particularly with families with children. “I barely have time to take a shower much less be in the mood for my lover” seems to be the common phrase with moms with young children. How do you rekindle that passion when the to do list becomes overwhelming and exhausting?

Many parents forget that in order to give love, they have to receive love. Love is what gives you energy to finish the to -do list and enjoy intimacy with your partner. Here are some suggestions for parents with children.

• Make a list of all the things that you have to do on a daily and weekly basis. Mark the ones that are priority, can wait and my wish list to get done. Three separate columns in decreasing priority.

• Share this list with your partner/spouse in a visible manner. On a fridge door, next to a night stand or a coffee table.

• On days you are running on reserve, remind yourself, that it is OK to take care of yourself first. Communicate to your partner what you absolutely need done so your mind is not wondering off to that check list. This is a two way communication and applies equally to those who are stay home parents to working parents. Office days can be just as challenging as home caretaking days so have compassion for each other for time to rest.

• How to receive love? Pause intermittently between preparing the kids meals, laundry list, the cooking and cleaning and really look into your children’s faces. Receive their love for they are pure souls who have the capacity to give you unconditional love. It’s in their eyes, smiles and laughter that your energy gets restored and your heart full again. When you function with a full heart rather than a racing mind, your capacity to give love extends to your spouse and others around you.

• Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen on a day you are needing self -love if some of the items on that checklist are not crossed off. You know its not going to be the end of the world if that laundry does not get done. Practice saying “no” to nourish yourself. Time is a gift to yourself and to others around you.