[繁\简\Eng] 恐惧症 A Phobia - 关于吾国吾民 On the recent change in China

【繁中】今天看到了中國大陸修憲的新聞，一種莫名的悲傷，失望，恐懼湧上心頭；然而更多的是一種孤獨。

【简中】今天看到了中国大陆修宪的新闻，一种莫名的悲伤、失望、恐惧涌上心头；然而更多的是一种孤独。

【English】I read the news on the Constitutional amendment approved by China's Congress, which opens doors for the president to stay forever. I am struck by sorrow, disappointment, and fear. But above all, I feel lonely.

【繁中】我出生在改革開放正興旺的時期，當時也沒有那麼多的媒體審查 ——港片，台灣歌星，好萊塢，搖滾樂，日潮韓流 ——每一天都有這世界上某一處的新鮮玩意兒讓我大開眼界。隨著我成人，上了大學，谷歌中國被封，維基百科被牆，似乎只是在轉瞬之間，開放中的中國大陸開始關閉自己的大門。

【简中】我出生在改革开放正兴旺的时期，当时也没有那么多的媒体审查——港片、台湾歌星、好莱坞、摇滚乐、日潮韩流——每一天都有这世界上某一处的新鲜玩意儿让我大开眼界。随着我成人，上了大学，谷歌中国被封，维基百科被墙，似乎只是在转瞬之间，开放中的中国大陆开始关闭自己的大门。

【English】I was born during the high time of political reform and opening up in China. There was not so much censoring - Hong Kong films, Taiwan songs, Hollywood blockbusters, rock 'n' roll music, J-pop and K-pop, etc. Every day, I discovered something new from some corner of the world and entertained myself.
However, as I became of age and got into college, things took a turn. Google was blocked. Wikipedia went 404. It was such a hard turn, that all of a sudden China slammed shut the doors it once opened.

【繁中】直到今日，我認為這是一個時代的終結。從開放到封閉，從容忍到審查，從改革到復辟。我感到的悲傷是為我的家人和朋友，我感到的失望是對我自己的國家，我感到的恐懼是對我個人的前途而我的孤獨，是因為我不敢和家人，朋友分享我的悲傷和失望，我也不敢詢問他們此刻的感受;我也不敢過多的表達恐懼，我怕被人曲解被人暗中觀察。這些感情似乎已經不被允許。此刻，如果我說不出讚美的陳詞，那不如在網絡上做一個沉默者。

【简中】直到今日，我认为这是一个时代的终结。从开放到封闭，从容忍到审查，从改革到复辟。我感到的悲伤是为我的家人和朋友，我感到的失望是对我自己的国家，我感到的恐惧是对我个人的前途。而我的孤独，是因为我不敢和家人、朋友分享我的悲伤和失望，我也不敢询问他们此刻的感受；我也不敢过多的表达恐惧，我怕被人曲解被人暗中观察。这些感情似乎已经不被允许。此刻，如果我说不出赞美的陈词，那不如在网络上做一个沉默者。

【English】Today marks the ending of an era - from opening up to closing doors, from tolerance to censorship, from reform to restoration. The sorrow I feel is for my family and friends; the disappointment is towards my country; the fear is of my future. But the loneliness, above all of these, is because I can't share my sorrow or disappointment with family and friends, and I can't ask them how they feel. I can't talk about my fear because I am frightened to sh*t. These feelings are not allowed.
If I don't have praise words, I'd better keep my mouth shut.

【繁中】我曾經以為我可以掌握自己的命運。但現在我不那麼確定了。

【简中】我曾经以为我可以掌握自己的命运。但现在我不那么确定了。

【English】I used to believe I can control my own fate. Now I am not so sure.