Lately, I've been hesitant about going to church (my church). It's not because I hate going to church or the likes, but it's because I'm no more excited about it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I've lost interest in the things of God, in fact, that's so far from it. In the church, or my church, the praise and worship is fantastic. The word, the word... it no longer speaks to me, it no longer satisfies me, it no longer keeps me excited.
Why is that? You may ask. The messages are more about self than your spirit. It no longer feeds my spirit. Not that they don't teach godliness and growing in Christ but it seems like it is second to others. I feel like the church should address things that help our spirit, instead we somehow find a way to make us feel good without yearning for transformation and renewal of the mind. I really don't know how to explain this, without sounding somehow. I love my church, I love my pastor, no doubt about that but my spirit doesn't feel lifted the way it's supposed to be. I should be excited going to church to hear the word of God. In church I should be happy but instead I feel a little bit disappointed and every time I go, I ask myself, why did I even come in the first place, it's as good as staying at home and reading your Bible.
I woke up on yesterday morning to prepare for church and I eventually didn't go to church. I've been thinking of finding me another church. I tried one and it's the same. I planned on walking around the neighborhood to see if I could walk into any church but I didn't. I told myself I'll ask around, maybe my colleagues at work or friends to know where they worship so I can come visit. I eventually sat back to wash my clothes.
Somehow, I feel the church is losing it, we have lost the primary assignment and gone into other things. The church should pay attention to godly living, growing spiritually, and the likes. May God help us.
Have you ever felt this way or anything similar? How did you deal with it?