Free thoughts of experiences Part 1

City life of the rich and miserable.
City life of the poor and working class.
The rich, the poor, the powerful, powerless, whatever, whichever.

Life put all in one. All in one circumstance, situation, environment in this planet in search and chase of joy, ease, enlightenment, peace and love.

As we chase, we easily drift off of the paddle and end up in the unpredictable, unimaginable circumstance that seems as we are watching ….
That it is so surreal as it seems it a dream.
We stand there in the middle of room questioning everything of everything of what life purpose and how you ended up here at this moment.

How our young innocent, young naive soul ended up with this demonized lonely souls chasing happiness in the darkest, and demonized places.

Standing in the center of the room with all the thought wander through our minds, we stand there, think to ourselves of why we are here and how we ended up here.

Wondering of our presence is for the attributions of some sort of enlightenment/ hope for our surroundings and maybe for significances for your life for later years, despite our thoughts going “WHAT FUCK” “HOW FUCK DID I END UP HERE” HOW, WHAT….’ As all the confusion continues to wander our mind.

With feel of yack, disgust, judgment, sadness, clarity, enlightenment, exposure of this moment of the learning through observations and everything and all of nothing at all, we continue to stand alone inside our minds surround by many around us but alone.

I say all this,
Because I am a model in the city of models and dreams in the city that never sleeps. Here chasing my dreams in hopes of making it reality.
I am just chasing dreams with nothing but the young heart and soul, seeing shine in anything and everything.

With that said, I moved to New York City at 18 right after high school and not realizing what I was getting into, just an imagination of the finish glam, glamourizes life. With just understanding of the front end of the industry.

So eager, and excited , I was willing to do anything to continue living in the city maintaining my dignity, morality, and value of my own.

Ohh did the get reality check really quick. Going in to the city, I had an agency, started casting, started working but the payment process of modeling world is other story, the agency can take up three month to pay. And you do not want to be one of the models who keeps asking agency for money constantly, to create that strong relationship with them so that I are in the “good side”.

So that meant to find something, somewhere to make a quick cash without work too many hours and without creating a conflicting with my modeling and casting as I need to available all times.

So when my friend asked if I wanted to make “quick cash” why not. Make $400 bucks to just walk around / stand there with a mask on for couple hours during the event.

Going in and my naïve understanding, I thought it was just a private, and my attendance and contributions to act as “hostess” and check list for the event for the attendance , “elite”.

I get there, and it is in the Upper Westside, a townhouse worth around $100 million and SUPRISEEEEE.
Everything that was said /told was everything of what was said and A LOT more. Alcohol, Drugs, Money , Women, and Power.

......To be continued