读新凤霞的回忆录，时常觉得有趣。比如她写过一把小茶壶，好像说那是跟随她多年的心爱之物，有一天不小心被她给摔了。新凤霞不写她是怎样伤心怎样恼恨自己，只写不能就这么算了，“我得赔我自个儿一把！”后来大约她就上了街，自个儿赔自个儿茶壶去了。
摔了茶壶本是败兴的事，自个儿要陪自个儿茶壶却把这败兴掉转了一个方向；一个人的伤心两个人分担了——新凤霞要赔新凤霞。这么一来，新凤霞就给自个儿创造了一个热爱生活的小热闹。
我觉得，能把一个自己变作两个、三个乃至一百个、一万个自己的人原是最懂孤独之妙的。孤独可能需要一个人呆着，像葛丽泰·嘉宝，平生最大乐事就是一个人呆着。
想必，她是体味到，当心灵面对人类的时刻，要比在水银灯照耀下自如和丰富得多。又如海明威讥讽那些乐于城帮搭伙以壮声威的劣质文人，说他们凑在一起时仿佛是狼，个别的抻出来看看不过是狗。
海明威的言辞固然尖刻，但他的内心却有一种独立面对世界的傲岸气概。令我想到孤独并非人人能有或人人配有的。
孤独不仅仅是一个人呆着，孤独是强者的一种勇气；孤独是热爱生命的一种激情；孤独是灵魂背对着凡俗的诸种诱惑与上苍，与万物的诚挚交流；孤独是想象力最丰沛的泉眼；而海明威的孤独则能创造震惊世界的热闹。
2018-Sep-09
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