当我在电脑上刚刚敲出这行文字的时候,我听见客厅里传来声音响,起身过去看了下,原来是老大不知道从房间哪里拖出来一只储物箱,而且已经将箱子清空,正拖着那个空的箱子在客厅里跑来跑去,一副乐此不疲的样子,我相信那只箱子里先前应该装满了东西,当卧室房间门打开时,满房间到处一片狼藉,证实了我的猜测是对的。
对于孩子这样调皮和捣蛋,通常这时候我会很生气,甚至会大声斥责他,孩子的反应是先不出声,然后是无声的抗议,比如扔东西,或者故意违背你的意思去做一些让你更加心烦的事,甚至会大声发出声音表示自己的不满,这个时候你便会更生气,然后更加大声斥责他,他这时候显得更委屈了,开始哭出声,不一会便眼泪汪汪。。。
这个就是先前的我,一度我因为跟孩子无法地沟通而最终采用暴力手段,所谓的暴力手段,就是动手打他屁股,边打我还边安慰自己:棍棒底下出孝子,何况我这是用手,不打不成器,这也算是一种教育方式吧,然而打完之后,听到那边被打边撕裂的哭声,以及看到孩子那哭的通红的双眼,我的心开始又有些心疼,最让我感到非常失望的是,打完之后,孩子是有了短暂的安宁,但事后又屡打屡犯,屡犯屡打,好像已经成为了一种恶性的死循环,你越是希望寻求答案,答案就越是离你更加遥远,而伴随着的更是,孩子似乎更加有些怕你,或者说没有了从前般跟你的那份依恋撒娇,有时候变得很沉默,话也没有以前那么多,人也没有以前那般活波。。。你开始陷入了深深的懊恼和自责中。
下午接老大放学时拍摄的
在跟我媳妇反复沟通、商量过之后,我们决定换一种策略,尝试着不再像从前那般大声斥责、甚至动手打的粗暴做法,而是耐心去跟孩子沟通教导,就拿刚才来讲,我放下正在敲击的键盘文字,蹲下来,跟他慢慢地讲,孩子这时候似乎也意识到了,在我的引导下,开始将箱子又拖回去了房间,大概是看到我开始把地上的东西捡起来放回箱子的样子吧,孩子这时候也自己捡起扔在地上的东西,慢慢地放回到箱子里,于是我忍不住夸了他下,小孩子就是小孩子,很快脸上便显出很高兴的表情,手上的动作更加加快了,很快我们便一起将先前弄的一片狼藉的卧室收拾干净了。
我很高兴自己教育孩子的想法有了转变,更欣喜的是新的方法效果还是很好,老大也比之前有了很大进步,开始跟我讲话,也愿意听我说话,前提是我跟他说话的声音不要太大,否则他还是会很不高兴地跟我说:
“爸爸,你不要(对我)那么大声讲(话)。。。”
我开始回到电脑跟前,重新继续我未完成的这篇文章,正当我写下前边这段文字时,我又听到客厅里传来吵闹的声音,似乎又有箱子被拖动的的声音,于是我又起身,看到客厅里,我那不到两岁的老二,也学着刚才哥哥的样子,拖着个空箱子,在客厅里跑来跑去,一样地乐此不疲兴奋着,而卧室里,又是满地狼藉。。。
一般情况下老二都是跟老大学……
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不是一般,而是绝对就是,有样学样,干坏事都一摸一样
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但有很多时候也是学成人。
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@ace108 兄,你是在影射我是个坏人嘛 囧 :)
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Upvoted resteemed and followed you😊
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up voted and followed you @mhel
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thank you @mhel 😊 follow you
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Nice thanks😉
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非常可愛
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谢谢
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cn區那麼多可愛的孩子呀,看來當爹的都很喜歡賣孩子哈哈。 @wilkinshui @shenchensucc
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孩子存在感超级强,每天好多精力都是在带娃,想不晒也不行。。。哈哈
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是啊哈哈哈
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哈哈哈,我也是看到大家这两天晒娃的多,也来热闹下
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哈哈哈哈哈!我还以为你成功了呢!我觉得要用小朋友的思维去理解他们为什么这么做,再从他们的思维模式去说服他们。比如,我想让相信风水的钱老板招我进他的队伍,我就要让他相信我绝对能旺他。
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很有道理,你好厉害!
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老大很帥呀!
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谢谢
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Upvoted & RESTEEMED :]
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:)
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最近看到一个游戏育儿的课程,爸妈的一念之间确实效果各不相同,关键词是跟孩子“联结”
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对的,关键是要有耐心,不能简单粗暴
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我侄子长得好帅呀,台湾偶像剧的小孩
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我觉得有两个或更多的孩子,他们会想方设法引起你的注意。孩子其实很聪明。
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嗯,比我们想象中的聪明
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孩子又萌又帅,幸福的。
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谢谢
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我相信弟弟也会像哥哥一样,和爸爸讲道理做个乖小孩😊
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愿如此啊
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Cute dude... Nice post
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nice post i really like this post
I will wait for the next post
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两个孩子确实闹腾了,还是得耐心教导,大人对小孩影响最大了
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对的
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Best kids...
Hmm... English speek please....😊
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thank you @sudutpandang
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😊👍
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我觉得,孩子就要有孩子的样子,只要不危险不妨碍他人,可以乱一点,有助于他们发挥创造力嘛。如果孩子们都像大人那样自律有规则,那多可怕,是不?
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对的,所以在安全的前提下,尽可能给多些空间给他们发挥
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孩子真不是管理出来的,而是影响出来的。
影响的第一步就是需要孩子真正听懂你的话,搞明白自己做的事。
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你说的太对了!
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孩子们需要我们的耐心。他们是从神恩惠给我们的。
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耐心的确很重要
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哈哈哈 太可爱了 老二最后也学老大把东西放回去然后得到了爸爸的夸奖是么?
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画面太美,我不好表达。。。
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你有两个儿子么?那真的有点闹腾,哈哈。不过小男孩闹腾点挺好。我也觉得吼和打真的不行,小孩会难过,大人会自责,效果还太差。
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确实够闹腾,不过你说的对,吼和打真的不行,小孩会难过,大人会自责,效果还太差!
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Hey you, habla Español?
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¿Yo no hablo español puedes hablar inglés?
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Do you have T.P. for my bunghole? I would hate for my bungholio to get polio.
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"Your primary job as a parent is to prepare your child for how the world really works. In the real world, you don’t always get what you want." - Dr. Phil
Another nice post @rivalhw. Keep posting more.
Steem on!
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It's all right! I agree with him,although I do not know him :)
thank you @ugetfunded
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He's best selling author and a very authentic name when it comes to #parenting advice. Check him at Google/YouTube.
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oh,let me google him,thank you
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我家快四岁了,我从来没有打过骂过他,大声吼也没有过。反之,我老公对娃就比较严厉了~
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狼姐姐感觉很有耐心,我家经常是我老婆吼。
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我以前也是吼,现在逐渐在克制和改变
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毕竟是亲生的呀~
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我要向你学习 @hannahwu
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o(^▽^)o 毕竟只有一个 如果有两个都这么皮 不知道会是什么光景。
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叫老大學爸爸去跟老二一起收箱子,然後兩個一起稱讚。好像說起來容易?試試無妨嘛!
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我也想试下,可惜老二现在还有点不听使唤那
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@rivalhw A great deal details thanks for sharing. Like it..
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小孩子就是记吃不记打 哈哈哈
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哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
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每天一个循环,问题是孩子慢慢就免疫了,不管用什么方法,用多了就不好用了。
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我觉得方法还是要多想,最笨的就是那种简单粗暴的吼叫和打了
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是啊,言传身教吧,每个孩子的模式都不太一样,需要做父母的好好摸索。
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小时候看《音乐之声》觉得里面的音乐老师实在是牛逼,爸爸严苛的军事化管理真的该狠狠批判。如今自己面对两个淘气的男娃,开始慢慢觉得只有严苛的军事化管理才能镇得住娃。除非我也能像影片中的那位老师,任何其它事情也不用做,只需要每天琢磨着怎么管理好这些娃,还拿着不菲的工资。
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我觉得还是要靠耐心和引导更好些
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想想每天上班,干家务,烧饭做菜,孩子各种接送,已经累得半死不活,真的是没有太多的耐心。如果再碰上strong-will的孩子,崩溃是迟早的。我家两个都是strong-will的娃,气死你没商量。
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非常有趣的、漂亮的帖子謝謝您
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謝謝
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它具有吸引人
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I never understand Chinese language but I really want your help to follow me @arslan786
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@rivalhw We need remain informed and concentrate on things that are hidden from the majority.
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不到两岁的话,只能让他多学哥哥了
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小朋友好可爱啊
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Steinberg says:
Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.
@Rivalhw You choose very sensitive topic 'Parenting'. This is most difficult job in the world. So I wish every parent understand their kids and do their nurturing accordingly.
This is another wonderful blog by very nice writer and human being @rivalhw. Keep sharing super Stuff. Thanks!
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thank you @jawad09,and very glad to see you often.
yes,I deeply agree with you ,Parenting is most difficult job in the world. :)
hope to see you often.
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宝宝 好淘气啊 不过挺可爱的
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可愛的娃哈哈~
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@rivalhw Great submit. Hardwork pays a lot more so preserve Functioning tough!.
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其实小孩子做事,是对是错,也许他们根本不知道,他们只知道好玩罢了,我记得我5岁的时候,一个大冬天,门外有一汪水,我穿棉鞋居然过去趟水玩,玩的很尽兴,结果被我妈给揍了,当时我还想呢,多好玩啊,为啥要揍我呢?长大后,才明白,然而这件事让我印象深刻.......
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Good post
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教孩子真是一门学问呀。耐心和鼓励吧我猜。你儿子长得很帅呀:)
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No niezle :D pozdrawiam cieplutko koreanska strone swiata ! <3
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大伟哥,要有耐心,无尽的耐心,呵呵。
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我都吼的。。吼吼吼以后。。他们都耳聋了。。好吧换个方式。。。恐吓。。威胁。。。靠。。结果姐姐投诉了。。你不守信用啊!。。上次xxx时说不给弟弟这个的。。怎么你都给了。。。好吧。。我输了。。。现在嘛! 尽量训练到了什么时候该停了就要停,有些事情要反复一直说可是几次过后,我说一声就要停止,不然后果自负。危险的事必须让他们认识到,我们没办法一直避免,可是可以解释,让他们认同。只是小的通常都比较不讲理是真的。。哈哈哈
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孩子總是天真,雖說有時候真的會讓氣得牙癢癢,不過在動手前我現在都會思考一下,我小時候應該也會這樣~ 這時才感受到雙親的偉大!
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带两个小男孩还保持耐心确实不容易,也是我们这一代独生子女要面对的新问题就是如果带两个小孩?
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有孩子的家里你就别想整洁啦!何况你家还俩,呵呵。
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@rivalhw Thanks for publishing this Charming instant in time for yourself..
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Is this post available in English somewhere?
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Thankyou for sharing @rivalhw
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大偉哥我覺得孩子在三歲前還不太會跟父母談道理時, 體罰是有需要的. 我之前好幾個post都有提過我是會打女兒的. 而且是用盡全力的打. 令她們有一個很痛苦的回憶. 我只需打一下,真的只是一下,現在8歲和6歲的女兒們,出生到今只被我打過兩,三次, 加起上來不超過6下. 但是現在只要我一發怒站起來, 她們都不敢不停下來聽我訓話的.
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thank you @ca-life
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