Most of my life I felt like just another cog in the wheel.

From as early at kindergarten I remember being pushed around, kicked, smacked and made to stand in line. Often told through artificial tests that I wasn't smart. From the first week of being cast into the abyss of public education I felt that any time I got creative or started not spinning with the other cogs, I was forced to hop back onto the neverending mechanism of conformity. Essentially I became just another cog in the wheel.

It took years of public education to break my spirit and just become a zombie. Still the on going process of behavior modification reversal continues. Daily I battle back against myself to change my own perception of the man in the mirror. Over the last 20 years I have found myself becoming extremely successful yet to find myself feeling as if I didn't deserve success. So often my hard work would yield earnings beyond my wildest dreams but I felt as though I was the dumb kid and shouldn't be successful.

On two separate occasions I even changed careers to try and find happiness from my position in life. Not the normal way people would change careers either. The first time I literally gave away everything I had. The second time I sold everything and donated my wealth and took a 6 month hiatus from life. I found myself wandering around the mountains of New Mexico in search of a new direction. Through my travels I met my wife and we now have 2 boys. I kept thinking, " I just want to be normal."

What is normal?

To me normal meant working a dead end job, doing boring work that any old Joe could do, and struggling to make ends meet...( How Messed Up Is That?) That was how I was programmed through 12 years of public brainwashing. When I conform I'm just content or miserable. When I resist being a conformist things always fall into place to make me wealthy. I know you think, "That Sounds Crazy!" No joke I thought it was too until I watched a video posted by @jeffberwick. I'm not the only person that has uncovered this secret. I can't say thanks enough for helping me rediscover it! Even before I watched Jeff's videos I told my wife that I felt like great things were about to happen.

Currently my wealth is not monetary but I'm afraid that it soon will happen again. Yes, I am afraid that I will become wealthy once again. Once I pull myself from the cog in the wheel and become **"not normal" ** again and start using my own brain and travel in my own direction I know I will find success again as defined monetarily... My desire is to actually keep the money this time. Now I have a family that needs provisions.

Will I be able to keep my family running smooth even in the midst of hyper success? Time will tell. Soon I will take out a small loan and start another successful business that I will soon sell for large amounts of cash. Then I will probably sell everything I own, give all of the money away if history repeats itself. This time though I think I can overcome the fears of success. I'm eating great, I'm exercising more, I quit smoking, (2 years now) I stopped drinking. My life is going to drastically change for the better and I'm going to welcome it!

Time will tell if I can overcome my fear of failing after success much like lottery winners, though I don't use drugs or alcohol or blow my money on strippers. Perhaps I enjoy the chase more than the catch. I can fix this. When I analyze myself and realize that I became the "so called normal" time and time again after huge runs of success because of fear it amazes me. My cog is about to jump from the other cogs around me and do some awesome things. The Universe Is Calling My Name! I truly hope the universe calls your name also.