Me if I were sitting on a porch talking to kids running by in the neighborhood... [Cranky Old Goat]

ME: "You can take your safe spaces and shove them up your ass!"

CHILD: "That's hate speech, I'm tellin'!"

ME: "Damn right I hate this safe space nonsense!"

CHILD'S MOTHER: "Sir, Zir, Thir, Dir,"

ME: Interrupting... "Spit it out... I have a cock! You can call me Sir, Dude, whatever, I don't care!"

CHILD'S MOTHER: "But, we can be fined for not using the right pronoun!"

ME: "Only if you let them. Plus, I'm not going to report you for not being an idiot."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "I sense micro aggressions from you"

ME: "Nothing micro about it... I fuckin' hate safe spaces and idiotic pronoun forcing upon people as though we can all read minds and know what friggin' gender you want to be. If you look like a woman I'm calling you she, her, maam, etc. At least until you correct me. Even then I may fuckin' forget because I don't give a damn about any of that idiocy. Nothing micro about my aggression."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "That's hate speech!"

ME: "And?"

CHILD'S MOTHER: "You can't speak hate speech!"

ME: "I never agreed to give up my right to free speech regardless of what some jackass social justice warrior tried to do in raping my rights. I can say whatever I want when I'm on my property. The consequences are mine. If I were saying it at a job or on someone elses property that might be a different story. I could still say it there, but shouldn't be surprised if I am fired, or worse."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "But you violate my safe space that is in proximity to my body and ears!"

ME: "I don't believe in safe spaces, it's against my religion."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "What religion is that?"

ME: "It's the oldest religion to ever exist."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "I don't know of any religions that say anything about being against safe spaces."

ME: "Ahh, then you are a religious scholar? Have you studied a lot of religions?"

CHILD'S MOTHER: "Well, no but something like that people would talk about."

ME: "They used to talk about it. Then they forgot about it and the world went all backwards and people had hurt feelings about everything, and became whining pussies."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "Forgot about it? I don't know of any forgotten religions recently."

ME: "Yeah, I'm not surprised."

CHILD's MOTHER: "What is it's name?"

ME: "Oh, that. It's called reality."

CHILD'S MOTHER: "That's not a religion."

ME: "It is what I put my blind faith in. It is what I count on to be there each day no matter how many people like to pretend it doesn't exist. That sounds pretty religious to me. So are you going to violate my freedom of religion now?"