Unwritten Rules: COM15 first Entry

in comedyopenmic •  7 years ago  (edited)

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I've received a couple of complaints from observers
saying the topics and issues addressed by this philosophical contest borders on insanity and are downright offensive; so after a closed door penis to penis to penis conversation with @idikuci and @dj123, we were able to revise some of the rules to accommodate the pussies.

  1. Goat Fucking
    No longer will we post jokes about goat raping as animal rights/tree hugging pussies may not like it so from now on, every goat fucking on COM will have express consent from the said goat. This rule will also extend to dog, pig and chicken fucking jokes. We do not condone rape of any form.

  2. Weed
    The new rules states that all drugs coming in and out of COM must be vetted by @dj123. As you all may know, @dj123 is no longer a weed dealer but his vast experience with the substance means he must roll one joint from any weed joke posted with this tag, this is to enable us ensure the quality of material coming from us.

  3. Dick Jokes
    This is a somewhat sensitive topic for most of us. Truth be told, dick jokes have been in our society since the Tower of Babel fell down. In essence, I'm saying dick jokes will continue so piss off you little pussy.

  4. Drug Trafficking
    It has come to our notice that there's been quite a lot of jokes concerning cramping drugs up their ass. We at Comedyopenmic strongly insist that good hygiene be practiced. Ensure your ass is clean before shoving them up there.

  5. Race/Ethnicity
    There's no differences or strife here and we believe in unity and everyone's freedom to fart live in peace. We're all cockasians and you may follow that link to join us at Carl's cock room for the full Cockasian experience.

  6. Sports Joke
    I will kill anyone who makes fun of Arsenal football club, every other sports team is allowed. adjusts halo

Feel free to post questions, observations and include any topic I might have missed out.

I nominate @mariannewest and @karenmckersie

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top grade shit post......now where is the joint for me to roll?

oh btw. your on for judging in Round 16

also remember to keep any selfupvote (including minnowbooster and smartsteem upvotes) below $0.50

I'm up for it. I thought I was judging this round though

I gotta say dude, that last rule makes you come off like a real ARSEnal fan. Are you gunner flag me if make jokes about them? Are you even going to cech reply to this comment? Or IWObeing a dick about it? Sorry I’m taking your feelings for Granit. Please don’t break my wrist or Wengers. Sorry, let me make it up for you. Please don’t call the police so they don’t put me in those Chambers! Can I offer Pierre as piece offering, I usually love Holding my drinks for myself but this time I willshere it with you.

Bravo brother. Fucking curie this comment 😂

Thanks dude. If they do I might have enough money. And when I do I willock my apartment and travel to Canada, maybe Monreal. But till then I’m stuck near the Niles.

Well, stuck near the Euphrates would be more accurate. But the joke wouldn’t have worked. I apologize for that, I was just too busy running Aarons to pay attention. I’m just too busy now maybe three years ago we’d have had more back and 4th

You can visit Turkey but don't run if you see people with guns because they Mesut. You'll Seads all of the internet about itm

That makes me feel sixth to my stomach. There Mustafi something we can do about it.

Cech online. I heard of a procedure where you get fresh pepper, Granit and stick it up your ARSEnal. There's nothing herbs can't fix, Unai?

Lol, genuis just like the invincibles

I had to go the 100 way for this comment! @belemo fcuking give him your 100% upvote. Let it be at the top!

My upvote isn't worth shit but yeah. I did

Good. Half shit is better than none.

Not literally of course, its never nice in the toilet

The suck-away will disagree.

I'm offended, that you're not offended.
Peace.

i will be severely offended i don't get a joint to roll really soon

You just say the word, how many bags?

At a glans, I was deeply offended. But after praying to the father, son and holy goat, I’ve decided to forgive you. Even so, jamaican me crazy, so I’m going to the escobar to try to relax: I’ve got an interview tomorrow for the position of bible paper roller, and really need to walk it in.

This is just underappreciated, fancy nominating two people and we'll count it as an entry? :p

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Roll one with the book of Proverbs. Manna feel ire with all that wisdom

If weed vetters find themselves overworked. I’m happy to step in and Vet. All for 1 and 1 for all! ✊

Always ready to take one for the team.

hahaha this is a great rules post

I just want to see dj roll that joint :D

Winny out...for now ;)

Yeah. Saw this game. Karius fucked the game up

I feel like it was Sergio Ramos getting Mo Sallah down early, then bale coming on that realy sealed Liveroppls fate.

You could say that but Two of the three goals scored were silly howlers committed by Karius. Real Madrid didn't have any edge over Liverpool through out the encounter

You're right about Karius like, that deflected throw might as well have been an own goal.

I wanna know how much he's worth after that..

For some reason, I had it in my head that you were a Liverpool fan :') Arsenal ffs, similar colours I guess...

Oh yeah, I was rooting for Real Mad through out. If Liverpool won that game, the banter would have been too difficult to bear for us Arsenal fans.
On to the next season it is