Comedy Open Mic Round #Whaleshares!: Reviewing Peppa Takes A Train Ride

Hmmmmm where is everyone on Steemit @comedyopenmic? Ah I am used to writing posts to nobody in here so we may as well carry on regardless.
I nominate whoever is on whaleshares!

I have read Peppa rides the Train a little over 1000 times to my toddler who is obsessed with Peppa pig and trains so this is her favourite book. 1017 times if we are counting. Every night my daughter and myself sit on my bed. I have to lie on a certain cushion in a certain way or the reading of the book is null and void and we have to start over. I know the book off by heart and inside out. My eye now twitches reading some parts. I get asked the same questions every time but there is one question I cannot answer. We will get to this. So let us begin with Peppa Rides the Train. The plot to the story is pretty simple but we do get in to parallel universes as we go.

Right we start off at the first page. Everything is normal. Well as normal as can be. There is a gazelle as the teacher.Her name is Madame Gazelle. A French Gazelle. She is bringing 2 pigs, a dog, a sheep, a zebra, an elephant, a cat, 2 rabbit, a sheep and a pony. In the ticket office is Mr Rabbit. I think from previous books he is the father of the two rabbits queuing but you know the way it is with them. Always at it. He probably doesn't even know that they are his. All of Peppa's mates are the same height. I reckon Emily Elephant has stunted growth and she is on the hormone tablets. Anyway everything is normal here. This page is setting the scene. The train tracks are pretty basic to say the least. If it was my child I wouldn't let her near the place. But that is much of a muchness. We will continue.

So they have purchased their tickets. The two rabbits didn't get a free one. Mr Rabbit the ticket inspector takes no brown envelopes. Pedro Pony is the sad looking animal on the left. Don't get me started on Pedro. He doesn't even look like a pony. He has these weird spots all over him. A bad does of the chicken poxs or alopecia. He's also the only child with glasses. Bad things always happen to Pedro. He's only after losing his ticket. He just got handed it 5 seconds ago. He deserves the abuse in my opinion. Madame Gazelle comes to the rescue spotting his ticket on the ground. Crisis averted. Pedro is a handful.

Mr Rabbit is only after starting his shift and is already sick of Pedro Pony's shit. He is smiling with pent up rage. He blows his whistle to blow off some steam.

Miss Rabbit is the train driver. Family operation then. Again no sign of acknowledging the young rabbits. Disgraceful.Note her name is Miss Rabbit which means Mr Rabbit can't afford to put a ring on it or Miss Rabbit just doesn't got it. Pedro Pony is on the train beside Danny Dog. He seems like he is having a great time. Smiling as the train pulls away from the station.

Madame Gazelle gives the kids activity sheets. Rushed in my opinion. Maybe had a night out on the tiles and is a bit hungover. Maybe a lion chased her and she did not have the time to a proper activity sheet. The state of the activity sheets. The kids have to spot a boat, a tunnel and a signal box. Lord almighty. If the school charged for this it is a holy disgrace. Kids seem happy. Pedro pony still looks like he is enjoying himself.

Sorry if image is a bit blurry but the kids spot a boat. Which is first on their activity sheet. Leads me to believe that Madame Gazelle paid Granddad Dog to be in his boat at a certain time.It is just too much of a co-incidence. What did she pay him with you ask? Who knows. Teachers do not get paid that much. I will just park that there. You can read the other books to judge for yourself!!

Peppa marks a boat off her shitty activity sheet after she dies of boredom.

This is where it starts getting interesting. Pedro doesn't feel well so
Madame Gazelle let's him go up front of the train. Miss Rabbit even lets him wear her hat and drive the train for a bit which makes him feel better
Seriously like. What a fake. Pretending to feel sick so he can drive the train and then suddenly he feels much better. The miracle of driving a train cures all. I am getting sick of Pedro's shit at this stage. Now my daughter in order to get her own way will say she feels sick. Thanks Pedro. Great lesson you are teaching us there. This is ridiculous.

We move onto the next page. Pedro the rat is up front driving the train. But wait....
Who that daddy? pointing to the last seat in the carriage.
Pedro is driving . Who the hell is that in the back. A fake, or is it the real Pedro. But only one pony boarded the train!!!! Is it a terrorist? Is the train in danger. Is there a mission impossible mission going on with Tom Cruise wearing a Pedro pony mask. Dis Pedro break the speak of light? What the fuck is going on?
That is Pedro's brother honey! I say making up an excuse.
Who proof read this book???? Seriously like. Everyone knows Pedro doesn't have a brother. Major slip up here by the authors. I am very angry. I may write a strongly worded letter.

Pedro imposter seems to be gone. Did he jump out the window in the tunnel leaving a device in the toilets. The train is in danger. The kids are shouting Hooray. The shitty activity sheet is complete.

When Pedro takes off his hat he finds a train ticket on his head. Everyone laughs because Pedro Pony lost it a few pages back. But i am confused even more because didn't Madame Gazelle find the ticket on the ground?? Have I lost the plot. He didn't even have the fecking hat on buying the ticket.
Oh that's where I put it laughs Pedro.
Everyone laughs

I'm not laughing here. Either Pedro purchased two multiple by tickets He lost the ticket and handed it to Mr Rabbit but then he goes off and finds one on his head. The hat belong to Miss Rabbit. Very suspicious. She must be on the take.
So there you have it. I shall read Peppa rides the train again tonight for 1018. If anyone has any answers who the mystery pony is ar the extra ticket please let me know in the comments. Westworld or Lost weren't as confusing as Peppa rides the Train. The Naughty Tortoise is next on my list to review.

Image Source : Peppa Rides the train Official Book.