I snowshoed through the Lorem Ipsum Wilderness and so can you! ⛄️ (Comedy Open Mic Round #6)

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The other day I went on a nice snowshoe hike to Holy Cross City, which is a cute little ghost town hiding way high up in Colorado’s world-famous

Lorem Ipsum Wilderness.

The reason the Lorem Ipsum Wilderness is world-famous, of course, is because dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit.

Yeah, I know, it's pretty horrifying to think about. Sounds like a really bad way to go if you ask me.

But oh my GOD, what a beautiful place to go snowshoe hiking!

I highly recommend visiting in the winter or early spring when Homestake Road is still closed. This is really the only time of year when you’ll have the opportunity to spend two hours wasting precious energy by digging your weak excuse for an all-wheel-drive vehicle out of a snow trap before finally leaving crazy late for a day hike that’s 15 miles longer than it would be in summer/fall.
_{Bonus points if you forget your hiking poles at home, fill your pack with way more gear than you’ll ever need (including an ice ax for some reason), and run out of food and water before you’ve even reached the Hunky Dory trailhead.}

So yeah! Super great way to build some character, and FAST! Winter/early spring = prime snowshoe hiking / character building time in the LIW!

But I digress.

None of that matters.

The reason I’m writing this blog is to pass along a very important

WARNING

_{So prepare to consider yourself warned.}

It’s crazy that people don’t know this. But you know how people are. Never paying attention to anything.

So, PAY ATTENTION:

Sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt!

Ut labore et dolore magna aliqua!

I know, right? Like I said, a really bad way to go. How much of his own blood can a guy really drink and still be alive, you know?

You’d think that with a name like Lorem Ipsum Wilderness people would immediately realize ut enim ad minim veniam quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat and just stay the fuck away, but NOOOOO, they get all DUIS AUTE IRURE DOLOR in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur and by that point it’s pretty much curtains.

Fucking idiots.

Listen up people!

It’s the LOREM IPSUM WILDERNESS.

I mean, come on! Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident sunt in culpa?? For fuck’s sake!

Yeah, it’s gorgeous out there, and Holy Cross City is pretty cool, too, but I'd say skip the LIW entirely unless you're fully aware of what's going on, and understand that it's not uncommon for there to be cases qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum, because quite frankly they just couldn't locate all of the body parts.

_{However! If you can see the Lorem Ipsum Wilderness for what it really is, and are interested in visiting sometime, feel free to get in touch with me. I know what I’m doing out there. I can be your guide. I am a good guide. Nothing will go wrong and nobody will get lorem ipsum.}

_{LOL! C'mon, it'll be fun!}

In conclusion,

I snowshoed through the Lorem Ipsum Wilderness,

and so can you!

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_{Well, that’s a wrap! This post basically wrote itself!}

_{I really don't think it's a very good po—}

_{Shut up, Kevin! It's a good post!}

_But—

_{Shut the FUCK up! I nominate @rkphoto and @meesterboom for the next round of @comedyopenmic! They probably won’t even notice!}

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⛄️⛄️⛄️

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Hello from the high Rockies of Colorado. My name is Brandt, pleased to meet you. I’m a marketing copywriter. I live in a little ghost town called Leadville. If you like mountains, snow, jokes, running, hiking, breathing, not working, etc., then you and I have a lot in common. Thanks for stopping by, and dolor sit amet!