I always pictured myself going on the kind of dates I see on television you know at least I felt its a criteria to be considered a real man, the truth is I have issues with biting more than I can chew, I was looking at a senator's daughter in my school, hey wait before you could ask what a senator's daughter was doing in our school I'll tell you, you see government officials are hypocrites you see them enrolling their children in public schools, eating cheap burgers In public during election times, we both know they're trying to buy our hearts, they think we're fu***ng cunts well voters are fools, but not me. When the elections are over and they become elected, they starts driving cheffeur limousines and hidding among ten packs sorry I meant six packs heavily built men under the guise that a sniper may be anywhere aiming for their heart.
Sorry I lost you there, now back to me, it was election time Danielle was the senators daughter and something drew her to me, I think she might be a nerd and she doesn't look like the kind that would slap me if I asked her out, and sorry it wasn't love, what is love again?
I hadn't gone on any dates before I wondered what they normally do, I asked my friend what people do on dates and they answered laugh and kissing you nerdthat title nerd pisses me off and if I were to define what a nerd is, I think it's a person who doesn't understand sarcasm and draws jargon on the floor With feet when a girl is smiling at them at least that's what my friends defined nerd as.
When I told my friends that I would ask the senator's daughter daughters out, they laughed like wizards in the movies, and asked me if I have balls, I said of course I do they're under my trousers, they started another marathon of laughter and said they meant gut.
They asked how I would do it, then I told them I would propose to her when she goes to pee in the toilet, the truth is the laughed again and I was getting angry, I saw a pipe on the floor I picked it up and smashed one of them on the head and he screamed of course perfect place ask her out your jerk I smiled. Thank you Sam I murmured and he answered you're welcome you bully
I felt my friends loved my idea of asking the senator's daughter out by waiting for her in the toilet, they were scared of me, but we we're still friends sometimes I laugh at jokes they would normally not laugh at, and stay mute at they jokes they find funny, and apparently they love they way I laugh it makes them laugh, I hope they don't think it's goofy
PROPOSING IN SHIT PLACE
It was Thursday and Danielle came to school without her driver apparently the election was the next day, I was a nerd, I wasn't stupid, and nerds are the wisest people, I plucked a flower from the bush nearby on my way to school, I didn't know if it was weed or flower but it had a touch of red, so I passed it for a flower and stuffed it into my bag, I kept on observing to see when she would go to pee, but she didn't, so I asked someone to buy sachet water for her I couldn't wait for the normal piss to form in her liver sorry kidney, I was a literature student, not a biologist.
she smiled from afar and drank, three minutes later she headed for the toilet, I brought out my flower from my bag, and you know what? It's become more like a vegetable rather than a flower so I looked for a wire copper and folded them into what looks like a ring and went to the toilet, after she finished I had already knelt on the floor and asked my friends to stand behind me and do beat boxing, she shooked with despair and even if I felt dizzy I felt a chain holding my mouth and I opened it desperately and said it Danielle will you be my girl friend? the surprise fell from her face and she giggled and crooked in laughter and said Is that weed you're using to propose? I was getting impatient the principal may walk in or anybody then I mused just accept the godamm weed and kiss me already I didn't even allow her say anything else I just stuck the wire copper cum ring into her finger and asked my friends what did she say? and they all replied and said She said yes the looked bewildered and I smiled and said to her, now that we're a couple, tell your father I'm coming so he can pay my groom price, she nodded and left, the next day two armed police men came to ask the principal who Joseph in Class 3 is. I would love to tell you what happened after that, but my back is still bruised and hurting from strip marks
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I nominate @japfive and @angelacs for this Challenge.
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This is my entry to @Comedyopenmic week 17
Images from pixabay.com
What are strip marks? Lashes from a cane or something? Sounds like a party.
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It was frigging cane mark from bloody secret service 😀😀😀😀
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