"I know you suck dick for money, I'm not judging you". "Huh?" She replied as she took out the earphones. Seriously, I'm aware you suck dick for money, you've sucked all kinds of dicks. I hear the stories, seen your movies and quite frankly, I can't judge you because I've done it too, not literally the way you do it of course. I've had to kiss a lot of ass in life to get to where I am today so I understand the struggle. She had an uncomfortable smirk on her face and wondered why a random stranger would just come up to her with such words.
"Excuse me but who are you and can you please stop sniffing my hair?" She said to me, "oh sorry, I'm Belemo and you're Cynthia Cyclone" I responded and continued "I've seen every one of your movies". She seemed a little bit uncomfortable by my statement but managed to retain some of her composure. " I don't know what you're talking about" she retorted. I nodded at her and said "yeah, me too". She said she teaches Chemistry at a highschool to which I replied, "yes, I always feel the Chemistry". Her highschool scene with Shane Diesel was my favorite in 2016, she was indeed a Chemistry Teacher and Shane was the biology teacher, I kid you not when I say physics can't explain the positions she took. "I'm not having this conversation anymore" she said, "could you kindly fuck off".
I couldn't believe my luck, here's me, a lowly fellow with dreams bigger than life, sat next to Cynthia Cyclone. My whole world came crashing down when my stop approached, I assumed she was trying to protect her image when she asked me to fuck off, so I respectfully asked her for an autograph. She seemed exasperated at this point(probably because of her job), dipped her hand into her purse, brought out her national ID card with the name "Martha Chinedu" and said "I'm not Cynthia". I was devastated "so no autograph?" I replied, "kindly fuck off please" she responded then plugged back her earphones.
It got to my stop and I got down, I felt a tinge of sadness; I sat so close to my hero and couldn't at least her autograph. As I walked out in sadness, she peered her head out the window, locked eyes with me, smiled and winked. The bus drove off and this moment still lingers in my mental till date. I felt like I achieved something. Like I had met me a god and the Heavens smiled on my pointless existence
This short story is for Comedyopenmic contest and I nominate @nairadaddy and @jeaniepearl to make entries for this week.
Hi kigigha,
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This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
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18 years ago, me and my then g/f was making 'movies' and we were quite well known in the London 'scene'.
No one ever came upto us, but the amount of pointed, gaping stares, we got on the underground numbered in the 100's.
It was very funny.
true story.
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Its possible they were fans or just possible that it was a in your head and they were just staring like regular people do.
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No, regular people have a disgust on their faces, that the fans didn't.
(and there was much more drooling with the fans...)
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