Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 14 | Shilling done wrong and a shameless plug

When you can barely contain your heart as it beats too fast as you enter a room full of busy people who will hear your project.

You stand before them, fingers fidgetting behind your back, your throat suddenly dry. Cold sweat forming on your brow.

They silently watch you, in your mind judging you already, from the suit you are wearing, the shoes, to the slideshow you are now starting to present.

From Unsplash - Hunters Race

Your voice breaks, you take a sip of water and cough as the water enters the long pipe. You know all the signs of an anxiety attack coming and silently swore like Samuel L. Jackson in all of his movies.

Okay, cool down, slow down your breathing and relax. You can do this.

Think of them as naked they say. Nope!!, so many nopes why would you want to be in a small room with five old men and imagine them naked. All those old balls. The horror!

As the minutes go by that swig of Jack that felt like a good idea earlier for some liquid courage is slowly becoming such a bad idea.

Well, not as bad as being surrounded by 5 naked, old men. Oh, come on enough with that!

Focus, focus on the presentation at hand.

You cough silently and swore at the same time to release all the tension and you feel your balls relax. "I can do this" you assure yourself.

You first start with the Our Story at a glance. Always a crowd pleaser.

You explain the donation and fundraising efforts that you have been doing. Of the importance of education especially to indigenous children in order to give them a better chance at life.

Eleven years and nine different schools all over the country. Not letting flooded rivers deter us.

nor riding on tractors under the blazing sun stop us

Or fallen trees make us turn back.

Usually, at this point, I can already see some tears well but man this crowd is tough. My shilling skills have gotten rusty!

Okay, time to bring out the big guns and show Banawen Primary School.

The Story of Banawen Primary School
2015 was the year that we decided to adopt Banawen Primary School. This was a school that had all of their students part of an indigenous tribe called Aetas

The Aeta (Ayta /ˈaɪtə/ EYE-tə), or Agta, are an indigenous people who live in scattered, isolated mountainous parts of the island of Luzon, the Philippines.

These people are considered to be Negritos, whose skin ranges from dark to very dark brown, and possessing features such as a small stature and frame; hair of a curly to kinky texture and a higher frequency of naturally lighter colour (blondism) relative to the general population, small nose, and dark brown eyes. They are thought to be among the earliest inhabitants of the Philippines, preceding the Austronesian migrations.[1]

---

!(

I talked about how since adopting the school, they were able to produce the first students who graduated Elementary school and have gone through and enrolled in High school. We talk about our plans to continue supporting them and reaching college and become an inspiration to their tribe.

This part usually have someone sniffing if not outright crying. My handkerchief lies unused in my breast pocket. Man, this crowd is tough as nails, without flinching or showing any emotions.

Somehow they remind me of the businessmen from Adventure time.

Same pasty skin, and eyes like dead fishes. Will the presentation be enough to spur them to action?

I close with saying that other companies provide us donations under their Corporate Social Responsibility and that this would look good on their branding.

I see them silently confer with themselves, their whispers slow buzzing and I loosen my tie a bit and breathe at last. It is over.

I am informed that they would need to discuss this further and to wait for a call from them.

Oh well, you can't win them all then. Should I have used Deadpool's technique from the start?

Source

One down, two more companies to go to the shameless shilling and plugging of my project Introducing Gift In Kind PH | Bringing hope to children through education

Think of it for the children, worst thing they can do is just say no.

So that is my comedyopenmic entry for round 14 and my shameless plug on my project. All earnings from this post will be donated to @giftinkindph

Education is a serious matter and we strive to help less fortunate children achieve their dreams and be given a better opportunity in life.

If you are interested in joining @comedyopenmic you can see the contest rules here and the current contest in this post

For this week I offer as tribute @lunaticpandora and @glenalbrethsen go slay them judges especially if I don't win haha.

Till the next entry then.

^{Footer by @ameliabartlett}

Click here for your Mannabase Income
Click here for your Kryptonia access for Superior Coins