I thought this story was only mildly funny, and that's being generous. No real character development to speak of, either, and those B-stories about Dolly and the peanut butter/gecko just felt clunky. It's a decent rough draft of something that might have potential, but needs some heavy editing and rewriting before anyone would even consider picking it up. I know a guy if you'd like some consulting on this.
RE: MARCH OF THE ARMY ANTS — Comedy Open Mic Round 41
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MARCH OF THE ARMY ANTS — Comedy Open Mic Round 41
Go away.
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