_{We're sorry to interrupt this program but...}

Breaking News!

Last night, at 3:69 pm, scientists from the Walker Technology College [R&D squad] discovered a dangerous chemical found in every single health food. Dihydrogen Monoxide! Some of the potential side effects of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.

Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.

Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.

DHMO is a major component of acid rain.

Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.

Contributes to soil erosion.

Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.

Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.

Exposure decreases the effectiveness of automobile brakes.

Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.

Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
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This shocking new discovery has led these scientists to design a brand new dietary pyramid! Since Dihydrogen Monoxide was found in health food and super food, the young professors reached a conclusion by covertly observing @sisygoboom and his eating habits over the course of a few weeks. This is what they came up with:

^{Parents are being handed the new food pyramid on the way into schools so they can sleep easy at night knowing their child is not suffering a DHMO overdose. Some critics believe this is some kind of joke; this is not some kind of joke. I bet people laughed at the first man who said the earth was round, or that we aren't in the centre of the universe. But whos laughing now? Probably the flat earth society.

You may resume watching your programme.

This is my 1^st entry to #comedyopenmic, for this round I nominate @drakos and @fulltimegeek}