Life will never be fair. Life will never always be good. Happiness has never always been my friend but I look at myself now and I'm grateful for it. One could all but wish for a better future but life has a way of suppressing all that dreams of a better future till all hope seems lost.
It was not my fault that I was born into misery. I had no idea when things started to downhill. I was but a child when my father pierced my mom with a knife draining every ounce of blood in her, I remembered her screaming as I saw her life flash before my very eyes. I was but a child not more than seven years old when my dad murdered my mother in cold blood after a night of drunkenness. I had to witness the barbaric act as I saw my mom beg for her life.
He wasn't sent to jail after he murdered my mom in cold blood. He was left to roam the earth freely, finding a new wife and making a new family and completely forgetting about the family he had before, like it was just some phase or a fragment of his imagination. He went on like we never existed. Sometimes I asked myself: what about me, didn't I matter to him? I had to live with that stigma. I will forever be known as a daughter of murderer and an adulteress. Yes, he killed because she cheated on him. But can you blame my mom? After suffering abuse for so long she met her end. He was a sick excuse of a man, a drunkard, a stupefied waste of sperm and a murderer. Still, there was no justice for her death; instead she was blamed for it. No one said anything when she was suffering in pains, no one said a word when she was beaten and battered by the same man that swore to protect her on the altar. No one said anything when that same man plunged a knife into her heart. No one said anything when she let out her last breath. Now all she would be remembered for is a mistake she made. She didn't deserve that. I had loved and cherished them, they were my role models but it wasn't fair on my part that it had ended like it did.