One of the worst things about bad habits is that once you have them, they’re very hard to break! They hold you back from success in ways that you don’t even realize, and it can take months of hard work to get rid of just one habit that isn’t serving you well. For more information about how your habits might be destroying your confidence and what you can do about it, keep reading!
Hiding From Criticism
If you’re waiting for every person to like your work before you show it to anyone, you’re missing out on a lot of great opportunities. It’s hard to build confidence if we don’t take risks, and one of those risks is that someone might not like what we’ve made. There will always be people who won’t like us or our work—that doesn’t mean they have any right to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a terrible idea because it leads to only one thing: envy. And while it’s easy to go into autopilot and compare yourself with friends, family, and coworkers—it’s dangerous because we don’t know their past or what they’ve overcome. Comparing yourself can lead to bitterness, which is exactly what you want in your life? No! Instead of worrying about what others have that you don’t, do something about it.
Not Saying No
Do you know anyone who’s ever said no to a request or invitation? Of course you do. You just can’t think of anyone offhand, because people who say no are interesting! As Stanford University research psychologist Carol Dweck puts it: Successful people begin with a commitment to say yes. Say yes more often than not and soon enough your reputation for saying yes will become known. Soon after that, more and more invitations will start coming your way.
Being Too Hard on Yourself
It’s easy to blame yourself when things go wrong, but sometimes it’s not your fault. You might have been dealt a bad hand or made too many mistakes to recover from. If you’re not achieving your goals, it could be because you’re too hard on yourself. Recognize these feelings of despair before they swallow you whole and realize that in order to get back on track, you need to focus on something else for a while.
Holding Toxic Friendships
If you’re hanging out with people who constantly tear you down, it’s time to make a change. Cutting these toxic friendships from your life will improve your self-esteem and help you better appreciate yourself. Keep in mind that many times, friends and family won’t want to accept or see how toxic they are.
Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage comes in many forms—everything from letting negative thoughts take over your mind, to quitting before you’ve reached your goals. While we all have these tendencies at one time or another, it’s crucial to train yourself not to let bad habits get in your way. And remember: like most bad habits, self-sabotage is much easier to spot in others than in ourselves.
Taking On too Much
Most people with low confidence and self-esteem have one thing in common: they believe they are not good enough. The problem is that these individuals often try to do everything themselves and take on too much responsibility. In reality, you can’t be good at everything, and trying to do so will only lead to disappointment. Take a step back, figure out what you are good at, then delegate all of your tasks that aren’t your forte.
Procrastination
Procrastination can be a real confidence killer. The most successful people are able to harness their inner drive and channel it into action that results in success. If you’re struggling with procrastination, make a list of what needs to get done, and then pick one item at a time. For each task, think of how long it will take to complete (and ask for help if you’re not sure). Then start working on tasks one at a time until they’re all finished.
Lack of Direction and Purpose
Have you ever woken up and felt totally directionless, like you don’t know what you’re doing with your life? We all have. It’s normal to feel confused from time to time, but if it happens often or causes emotional distress, it could be a sign that you need to work on self-confidence. Before worrying about others, focus on yourself and discover how direction and purpose in your life can lead to greater self-confidence.
Having No Passion
It’s impossible to have confidence if you’re not excited about what you do. If you’re working a job just to make ends meet, your passion will never come through, and it will be harder for others to see your potential. If you enjoy your work, people can sense that when they interact with you—and as a result, they will be more likely to think of you on positive terms and help boost your confidence.