I know dad is a lazy dude, you can see that in him from head to toe, poor and wouldn't find a work to do, mum was the sole breadwinner of the house because dad only came home with a peanut, we all know the two of them has a shop where they run there trade, but how they manage to feed three hefty men like us still baffles me, sometimes all was provided, atimes we look to the sky.
That fateful day was a moody Monday, mum held my hand as usual for she knew I use to check on my friends before school, our home is just a stone throw from the school. In thirty minutes after the devotion we were back in class with the mathematics teacher to open the day for us, I still wonder till date how some mathematical formula were made.
Then came a big loud bang that makes the floor to vibrate, we were immediately ordered to lie down, then a second big bang, I could see despair in the eyes of my teacher but our safety was a concern written all over his face, the third and fourth loud noise was a sound so loud I've never heard before, but as instructed by our teacher, to lie down flat is the solution.
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In few minutes their was silence and one by one was told to rise up, in an hour time we were told there was a robbery at the bank near us, that many life was lost. At the close of the day we were offered a minute silence to the dead, that was all the dead need anyway.
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"Do Not Cross " tape was all over the place as we decided to investigate in our little way to grab some gist from there, it was there I got to know that about six women, four men were killed in the robbery in a bid to take over the bank, I felt sorry for them one more time.
It was when I got home I knew my mum was among those shot, not only that the thieves have been caught because there was a disagreement among them while they tried to escape, one of the thieves went psycho when he decide to drive fear into the heart of everybody, what did he do? Shoot everyone he saw, my mum was among them, dad has seen mum in the bank but couldn't communicate to her who he is, but the psycho guy was at the front to end everyone's life, immediately they made a way for the vault, when back dad saw mum in her pool of blood and went emotional, the CCTV camera got that and mum identity was found which gave a link to dad's phone number which inturn shows his gprs location.
The police showed up at our home the next day to add more sorrow they told us of dad's stance in the robbery, I was able to see him as his eldest son,eyes full of tears, all aspect of him says am sorry, but it's too late. He explained to me he just want to feed his family.
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Came out of the prison cell where he was held and held my brothers arm, we will be OK, as we stepped out of the cell I knew right there and then am now the breadwinner, at the age of eleven.
This is my entry into @svashta #constrainedwriting, you can learn more here
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wa-a-a-ait, why was the father behind bars?
There's quite plenty grammar mistakes here, to the point I have trouble understanding many sentences...
Regardless of the grammar mistakes, though, I like the idea behind the story, it's dark and full of emotion.
You surely do have a creative mind! ^^
Thank you very much for your entry!
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Like my friends always do, you should have point out one or two of those grammatical errors, I'll appreciate.
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This is just a few... The structure of your sentences is actually quite.... odd.
Mainly because your sentences are made too long. Use fullstops instead of commas more, unless you're really really really describing something.
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Thanks, I'll put this into consideration.
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